


One Way Ticket Home

by AllMyCharactersAreGay



Series: We Can Be Giants [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Childhood Friends, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Implied Sexual Content, Jealous Kuroo Tetsurou, Lack of Communication, Light Angst, M/M, Making Out, Tags Are Hard, no beta we die like men, side pairing BokuAka, side pairing KageHina
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-04-11 20:18:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 35,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19116961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllMyCharactersAreGay/pseuds/AllMyCharactersAreGay
Summary: There was no denying it: Kuroo was in love with his best friend, and he didn't think it was mutual. Afraid of ruining their friendship, he decided to go to Uni on the other side of the world, hoping his feelings would fade. They didn't.Their paths cross again four years later. Kenma wants nothing to do with him and Kuroo will do everything he can in order to get him back.





	1. Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

> Tags and side relationships will be updated as the story progresses! This is my first fic and English isn’t my main language, sorry in advance for any mistakes you find. I hope this doesn’t suck too much. Unfortunately I don’t have a beta, so feedback is appreciated.
> 
> While the past relationship between Kuroo and Kenma is pretty much the same than on canon, I only kept the Nekoma team. The rest of the characters met/will meet in different ways.
> 
> Story title from the song One Way Ticket, chapter title from Letting go, both songs by ONE OK ROCK.

It started as a joke to mess with their teammates. They knew there was a running bet about them and their close relationship. They had always been comfortable with each other anyway, why not push the boundaries just a little bit and see how they reacted? A casual arm around his shoulders. Holding hands while crossing the street, so Kenma wouldn’t get run over by a car for focusing on his phone. Kenma sitting on his lap on movie nights when there wasn’t enough space on the couch for the whole group.

Neither of them said anything when they kept doing it even when they were alone. It was just natural to rest his head on Kenma's thighs and watch TV while he played on his phone. Extra futons being conveniently forgotten on sleepovers, mornings finding them with their legs tangled in each other's. Personal space had stopped existing between them long ago.

He didn't know when it had become a necessity to have the other so close, pushing and pushing for _more_. All he knew was that it wasn’t enough. And it would never be, because there was no way Kenma felt the same way. He’d have to be happy with what they had, and for a while he was, truly. Until he wasn’t.

He’d lost count of the times he had to catch himself before crossing the line. Holding his hand for too long. Hugging him goodbye. Holding him close when they shared a bed. Waking up next to him was the hardest, a relaxed smile on Kenma’s face, half covered by his messy hair. No matter how many times he’d seen it by then, it still took his breath away. It took all his strength to keep from reaching to fix his hair behind his ear and place a kiss on soft lips. He knew it would ruin their friendship, and that knowledge was all that kept him from doing it.

Kuroo had been busy preparing for his entrance exams for the past month, but they still found the time to hang out every single day. While he studied sitting on his bed, an array of books and notes in front of him, Kenma was laying on his back, his legs stretched over Kuroo’s, texting on the phone with one of his online friends. _Little Giant_ , according to his name tag. Kuroo couldn’t be bothered to remember his real name, although Kenma had mentioned him once or twice. Or thrice. More, even, but his mood switched instantly the moment he mentioned him. They didn’t even know each other in person, but they Skyped almost every day. It was so odd that Kenma actually liked someone enough to have entire conversations, and he knew he should be happy that he was making new friends, but he couldn’t. Not when he caught him smiling at his phone.

“Is that the kid from Miyagi?” he tried to make his voice sound as unaffected as possible, not quite sure he succeeded. He didn’t.

“Shouyou’s not a kid, we’re the same age," protested Kenma, gaze still focused on his phone.

“You’re a kid. Still got a year of school to go," he smirked, doing his best to ignore the pang of sadness he felt every time he remembered they wouldn’t be seeing each other at classes everyday anymore.

Kenma huffed, ignoring his taunt, and he thought that was the end of the conversation. But then he looked at him again, only to find him biting his bottom lip, staring at the wall. Kuroo knew that face. He’d been doing it a lot lately. Kenma was trying to find the words to ask a question he didn’t really want the answer to. “Have you decided on a University yet?” he finally asked, still avoiding his gaze.

“Tokyo-U seems cool." He knew that wasn’t what Kenma asked. But he couldn’t find the courage to say what was really on his mind. One of his aunts had recently moved to London and offered him a place to stay, in case he wanted to study abroad. He hadn’t made up his mind yet. Kenma hated the idea. He didn’t need to voice his opinion for Kuroo to know that. But while he didn’t love the notion of being away from his childhood friend, what else could he do? Stay and watch Kenma fall in love with someone that wasn’t him? Confess his feelings and ruin their friendship? Running away was definitely easier.

Kenma didn’t reply. Why did he always have to keep everything to himself? “I’m tired," he mumbled, climbing onto his bed without even looking at him. He was covered up to his head before Kuroo got a chance to stop him.

Kuroo followed him, exhausted. They hadn’t had practice today, but he was ready to sleep for a month. Overthinking was tiring, apparently. “G’night," he whispered, falling asleep almost immediately. Too fast, he didn’t get to hear Kenma’s _“Don’t leave me”_.

✧

Two weeks later, Kuroo had aced all his entrance exams. He wasn’t sure why he even bothered applying to Tokyo-U when he had already made up his mind about London. Maybe a part of him still hoped Kenma would ask him to stay. Maybe, the other part of him was terrified he would.

He wasn’t sure what time it was when he woke up. They had played coop games until way past midnight. Kenma was still asleep, a blond mess covering most of his face. Kuroo reached to move his hair behind his ear, his hand lingering on Kenma’s cheek. He traced the soft line of his jaw, barely touching him.

Kenma stirred. He opened his eyes, but didn’t say anything. He only crept closer. “Kuro…” he mumbled, fixing his gaze on Kuroo’s. He licked his lips. Oh, how Kuroo wished he could read Kenma’s thoughts. His heart skipped a beat when Kenma’s eyes dropped to his lips and then back to his eyes. Could it be…? No, there was no way that was possible. Kenma was probably just trying to read his thoughts, and he couldn’t let him succeed. Not when all he could think about was kissing him.

He cleared his throat and removed his hand, running his fingers through the bird nest he called hair. “I should…” he sat on the bed, looking at everything but Kenma. His throat suddenly felt dry, his face hot. He hoped he wasn’t blushing. “My mom wants me to pack early, so she can go through my boxes and decide I packed all the wrong things," he said while getting dressed. “We’re taking my stuff to my dorm tomorrow," he didn’t mention where in the world his dorm was. Nor that it wasn’t actually a dorm, but his aunt’s flat. Kenma didn’t ask.

He could feel Kenma's gaze on him, analyzing him. “Okay," was all he said, and got up to change his clothes as well, while Kuroo ran to wash his face in the bathroom.

Their late breakfast was awkward, all of his attempts at conversation failing miserably. He knew he should say something, he was leaving tomorrow and Kenma still didn’t know how far away. It wasn’t fair to him, but he’d waited so long that he just didn’t know how to tell him. How to justify why he was going to the other side of the world to study when Tokyo was just fine.

Fingers snapped right in front of his face and he jumped back to reality. Kenma looked frustrated. How long had he been spacing? “Sorry, what were you saying?” he forced a smile that couldn’t fool anyone. Especially not his best friend.

“I asked if you need help packing," Kenma raised a questioning brow.

“Nah, don’t worry about it. I’ll just box whatever, my mom will probably repack everything once I’m done, anyway." That wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the real reason why he said no. He didn’t think he could bear the idea of Kenma helping him pack his stuff to run away from his feelings. Plus, he was sure he’d cry during the whole process and he didn’t want Kenma to see him like that. Not when that was the last time they’d see each other for who knows how long.

“Ok," he nodded. “I’ll leave you to it, then." Kenma didn’t seem to buy his excuse, but was kind enough to pretend he did. They finished eating in silence, Kenma focused on his phone. Talking to Shouyou, probably. His heart felt heavy with guilt. How could he get mad at Kenma for talking to someone else, when Kuroo wasn’t even capable of being honest with him?

✧

None of them said anything for a while, standing in the middle of the genkan. Kenma had his hands in his pockets, eyes fixed on the floor. He looked like he wanted so say something, and so did Kuroo, but neither of them had the courage. It was his mother who cut the deafening silence, calling him for lunch. Kenma shrugged and turned towards the door.

“I’m going to London," Kuroo blurted, pointedly staring at his feet. He didn’t dare to see the look on Kenma’s face. He clenched his jaw, fists tight against his legs. A minute passed, and still no reaction. He lifted up his head, swallowing.

Kenma stood frozen at his door, a hand mid air almost reaching the door knob. Another minute passed before he slowly turned to look at him, face blank. “I know," he replied, cold stare. “You’re not as subtle as you thought," he added after a few more seconds that felt like hours, and all the warmth from Kuroo’s body disappeared. 

He gulped. How long had Kenma known? How _much_ did he know? Did he know about his feelings, too? Why didn’t he say anything? He kept opening and closing his mouth, but nothing came out. Why did his words always fail him when he needed them the most?

Kenma sighed, and slowly turned back to the door. “Bye, Kuroo," was all he said before he left and started walking to his own home, without even a second glance at him. He flinched at the lack of a nickname, but his mother called him for lunch again before he could even try to say anything. He bolted towards his room, blurting a “not hungry” on his way, and jumped to his bed. 

He had fucked up. Of course he had fucked up. Why did he have to wait until the very last day to tell him? Was he even making the right choice? Maybe he could have learned to deal with his feelings. He was running away to avoid ruining their friendship, but didn’t he just ruin it anyway by running away? He could have at least promised to come back and visit, and it wasn’t like he’d permanently move to another country. It was only for a few years, and they could still Skype and talk on the phone. A voice in the back of his mind told him they wouldn’t, though. He really did fuck up.

He didn’t sleep at all that night. After climbing onto the back seat of his parents car, he looked up to his neighbor's window and got a glimpse of Kenma watching him. He hoped his eyes were fooling him when he saw him dry what could only be tears on his face with the back of his hand. “I’m sorry," he mouthed when their eyes met. It wasn’t until Kenma closed his curtains without a second glance, that his lips formed what he really wanted to say: “I love you”. He cried all the way to the airport.

✧

Life in London was hard at first. His thoughts kept going back to Kenma, and the last time he saw him. Would he ever see him again? Could he still save their friendship? He kept finding things that reminded him of Kenma, places he knew the other would love. He did his best at not reaching out for him, but after a month of silence he finally picked up his phone. Kenma had never been a fan of social media, and his last post on Instagram was from five months ago, when Kuroo took him to a cat café. It was a series of pictures of different cats, and a selfie Kenma reluctantly agreed to take with him. He looked happy, although embarrassed. They were both smiling, Kuroo showing pretty much all his teeth, Kenma’s smile way smaller but just as warm. His chest hurt, and he could feel his eyes watering.

He switched to his messaging app and rewrote his message at least ten times. He finally decided on a photo of a calico cat he always met on his way home.

 **Kuroo [15:32]:** [attached image]  
**Kuroo [15:32]:** Meet my neighbour’s cat. She’s shy, but warms up to you once you offer her some food.  
**Kenma [15:56]:** cute

 _She reminds me of you._ Kuroo smiled for the first time in a month. Just that single word managed to warm his chest. He’d almost thought Kenma wouldn’t reply, and the last 24 minutes felt like an eternity. Not that he was counting.

 **Kuroo [15:57]:** She is! Always greets me when I get back from college.

He waited, assuming Kenma would take his sweet time again, but no new messages came after an hour. It was past midnight already in Japan, so he tried to convince himself that Kenma had just fallen asleep. He wasn’t sure he believed himself. The next morning, his message was still left on _read_.

The same thing kept happening for months: Kuroo would always write first, Kenma would take forever to reply, Kuroo would write back, and that was it. He could never get the other to reply more than once.

A week had passed since they last spoke, and he still hadn’t found an excuse to text him again. When did he start needing excuses to text his best friend? Why couldn’t he just send a “hey, what’s up?” like they used to? He walked in front of a coffee shop, and after a quick glance at their dessert display, he got an idea.

 **Kuroo [11:16]:** [attached image]  
**Kuroo [11:16]:** You wouldn’t believe how good the apple pie is in London. You’ll love it.

He hoped his unwritten message was clear: come visit me, _please_. The text was read almost immediately, but got no reply. He sighed and pocketed his phone while gesturing the waitress for the check. He was halfway home when it buzzed almost an hour later, and he stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, earning him a few curses. He added ‘twat’ to his British insults list, Bokuto would love it. Just picturing his friend calling every person he saw a twat for no reason made Kuroo smile to himself.

 **Kenma [12:28]:** apple pie from tokyo is good enough for me

His smile was replaced by a frown and he bit his bottom lip. He could almost read Kenma’s unwritten message: sorry Tokyo wasn’t good enough for you. _Twat_ , he thought, tucking his phone into his pocket and hurrying home where his bed awaited.

✧

It had been almost half a year since he moved to London, and his determination kept crumbling. He always knew it wouldn't be easy being away from Kenma, but he never thought it would hurt so bad. It was clear by now that distance wasn't the solution, but it was too late now, wasn't it? His parents would kill him if he just quitted after all the craziness that implied getting him into a British college.

 **Kuroo [14:34]:** Yo Kenma, you still up?

The message was marked as read almost immediately, and he took that as a yes. No reply came after ten minutes, but he wouldn't let that discourage him. Not this time.

 **Kuroo [14:52]:** Wanna Skype? I kidnapped my neighbor’s cat.

_Read._

He was about to send another text when ten more minutes passed, but then his phone finally lighted up.

 **Kenma [15:05]:** gimme 5  
**Kuroo [15:06]:** Sure sure!! I'll be here, just call me when you're ready.

He ran to his desk, almost running over the kitten on his rush to get his laptop. He almost didn't believe Kenma had said yes. 

Four minutes later, his laptop was ringing and he beamed before accepting the video call, picking up the cat so she'd appear on screen next to him.

“You really did kidnap a cat. I thought you were bluffing," was Kenma's greeting. He seemed to be sitting on his bed, which was understandable since it was late night in Japan, and Kuroo wondered if he'd been asleep when he first wrote. The thought that he might have woke up just to talk with him warmed his heart.

“No!!” he almost yelled. “They went on a trip and asked me to take care of her since we get along so well.” Why did he sound so proud of being trusted to take care of a cat? Was there really nothing more exciting going on his life?

“Well, at least it looks that she got herself a nice nest to sleep on.” Kuroo didn't need to ask what he meant by that: a quick glance at his screen showed him his hair was worse than ever. Maybe he should've looked at the mirror before proposing a video call, but he really didn't think Kenma would accept.

“Ha ha, very funny. You're just jealous that I get to sleep with a cat and you don't," he grinned, and found himself surprised at how natural it felt. When was the last time they had talked like this, without awkwardness or second thoughts ruining everything?

The easy banter kept going for a while, and half an hour had passed when the weirdness made itself present again. He'd been talking about his new classmates, and Kenma kept looking away, replying in monosyllables. 

“Are you ok, kitten? I know it's pretty late, we can keep talking tomorrow if you want," he cringed at the pet name, hoping it wouldn't make Kenma mad at him. Not when things finally seemed to be getting better.

Kenma looked down for a few seconds, like he was looking for the words to reply. “It's ok Kuro, I just…” he sighed. “I don't really care about your classmates," he mumbled, so low Kuroo almost didn't hear him.

“Oh," so much for things getting better, he thought. “I can talk about something else," he faked a smile. “We're starting with Chem labs next week! I can't wait, from what I heard the labs have the latest technology and-”

“I don't care about your classes either," Kenma interrupted him, a frown on his face. He threaded his fingers through his hair, nervously. “I don't want to know about London," he added, sighing again, louder this time. Why did he sound so defeated?

“What do you want to talk about, then? Anything you want, Kenma, I just miss you," he tried to keep the frustration off his voice, but if the look on the other's face was any indication, he failed.

Kenma sinked on his pillow, almost dropping his laptop in the process. “Come back, then," his voice trembled. “If you really miss me, come back.” It almost sounded like a plea and it broke his heart. 

“I can't," he frowned. “That's not _fair_ , Kenma. You know how hard it was for me to get here, I can't just drop everything.” He hid his face in his hands, massaging his scalp. This was the longest they had talked in months, why did it have to turn into this?

“No, actually, I don't.” Kenma's voice suddenly went colder. “I don't know anything, because you kept me in the dark for months. You lied to me, letting me believe you would wait for me in Tokyo," he snapped, the hurt and anger palpable on his face. “Why did you leave? Why couldn't you just talk to me? Was I really such a shitty friend that you couldn't just talk to me?” His voice broke at the end of the question and Kuroo never felt worse.

This wasn't what he expected. Kenma was about to burst into tears on the other side of the world and all he could do was watch it happen through a screen, like the idiot he was. And it was all his fault, of course it was. How could he be so selfish? He spent so much time worrying about his feelings not being reciprocated, of how afraid he was of losing his friend, that he never even stopped to consider how Kenma would feel. It had always been them both against the world, and suddenly Kenma was all alone. In 6 months he would move to a new city, start classes in a new place full of people he didn't know, and he'd have to do it all alone because Kuroo was a coward. Who would be there for him when a panic attack came? Would they know the best way to help him calm down was stroking his hair and hugging him close? Would he let somebody other than Kuroo hug him?

“Fuck," he didn't realize he was crying until he spoke and his voice nearly got caught on his throat. “I'm sorry Kenma, I'm so sorry," he mumbled. “I _had_ to leave, I know it was selfish of me, but it was for the best.” He wasn't sure how true that was, but it was too late anyway.

His vision was blurred by his tears, but he could see on the screen that Kenma was a mess as well, silently sobbing behind his hands. How did he fuck up this bad? He'd never seen Kenma like this, not because of him. “I'm sorry," he repeated, trying to dry his face with his sleeve, but it was pointless. The tears just wouldn't stop falling.

He heard Kenma sniff and tried to quiet down his sobbing. “I can't do this anymore, Kuro," he whispered, and his hand reached forward. Next thing he knew, the call was disconnected and Kenma appeared offline.

None of his following messages were replied, not even read, for the rest of the week.

It shouldn't have hurt so bad when he saw Kenma's profile picture was updated a few days later. He looked melancholic, Kenma sitting on the train by himself and looking out the window, his head propped up on his hand. It was a nice picture, but the previous one was better. They were together on that one. Kuroo tried to pretend he didn't know what it meant. Kenma was moving on.


	2. I Won't Let You Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo tries to save their crumbling friendship, but only makes it worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna wait a bit longer to post this chapter, but I was so surprised the first one got any attention at all that I couldn't help myself.
> 
> As I said before, I have no beta and English isn't my main language! Typos and errors on text messages are on purpose, the rest are just because I suck.
> 
> Btw, I forgot to mention that while the past relationship between Kuroo and Kenma is pretty much the same than on canon, I only kept the Nekoma team. The rest of the characters met/will meet in different ways.
> 
> Chapter title from "I Won't Let You Go" by ONE OK ROCK (I swear I didn't pick all the songs from the same band on purpose, I've just been listening to them a lot lately)

To say the following months were awful was an understatement. He was barely passing his class assignments, not being able to focus. Luckily, his aunt wasn't around much so he could get away with moping all day in bed and surviving off instant ramen.

He kept trying to reach Kenma but no matter what he said, he was always ignored. At least he hadn't been blocked yet, seeing his messages were delivered. It didn’t make it hurt any less, though. Every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was Kenma’s crying face. All he could hear were Kenma’s sobs. How could he ever think running away would be good? Things had only gotten worse, did Kenma even see him as a friend now?

Social media didn't help either, since Kenma barely posted updates on his life. Only screenshots from his current video game obsession, cats and the occasional city landscape. His comments were ignored over there as well, but Kenma had never bothered replying those no matter who posted them, so he tried not taking it personally. He partially succeeded.

October was soon approaching, and with it Kenma's birthday. He thought of going back home for the weekend, but tickets were crazy expensive. That was just an excuse, though. The truth was he was terrified of going all the way to Japan only for Kenma not wanting him there. He would have texted back if he wanted to see him, right? Would he forgive him if he dropped out of Uni and went back home?

“Ughh,” he groaned, throwing his phone away to his bed. He winced when it bounced on the mattress and fell on the floor with a loud thud. It didn’t sound good, but the lifespan of his phone screen wasn’t so important when the person who mattered the most to him didn’t write.

✧

Halfway through October, Kuroo still didn’t know what the social rules were when two friends stopped talking to each other because one of them is an idiot. Yahoo Answers only made him feel even more stupid, sending him into a rabbit hole of competing with Bokuto to see who could find the most bizarre questions. Bokuto won, because of course he did.

At least his classes were going better, when he didn’t waste time on the internet. None of this suffering would be worth it if he couldn’t even finish his degree in time. The sooner he was done with it, the sooner he could go back home. The sooner he could go back to Kenma.

After a lot of consideration, he finally decided on going through Kenma’s Steam wishlist, looking for a gift. He bought the latest Monster Hunter, in part because he knew Kenma was a fan of the franchise, but mostly because it was the most expensive game on his list and Kuroo’s gift had to be the best.

He checked the Japan - UK time zone converter at least ten times, although he already knew it by heart, to make sure he was the first one to send a message on the 17th.

 _“Hey Kitten,_  
_I know things are awkward between us, and I’m really sorry about it. It’s my fault, and I wish I could make things better somehow._  
_I hope you like this game. You used to play one of the old ones on your 3DS but maybe you got bored of it? Idk, maybe you can trade it for something else if it sucks._  
_Happy birthday,_  
_Kuro_

__

__

_PS: Don’t let Lev eat too much cake, he’d be insufferable on a sugar high.”_

He clicked on SEND before he could change his mind, hoping the message that took him an entire week to write and rewrite would be well received. Moving the laptop to his bedside table, he stretched on his bed and closed his eyes, taking deep breaths to calm himself. He’d been ignored for the past few months, he shouldn’t keep up his hope, but he couldn’t help it.

Two minutes later, his phone buzzed and he felt his heart jumping out of his chest. He opened his eyes, but didn’t dare to move. It was probably Bokuto to check on him, knowing full well how nervous he’d been about this day. Another deep breath, and he reached for his phone.

He jumped to a sitting position when he saw the name on the cracked screen, accidentally dropping his phone on the bed. “Shit,” he muttered, patting his sheets almost desperate. It must have been his mind playing a trick on him. He turned the screen on once he finally found it and gulped. It really did say _Kenma_. A minute passed and he was still staring at the name, hands shaking. Another breath. He unlocked his phone.

 **Kenma [16:06]:** thanks

Well, that was anticlimactic. He frowned, disappointed, and was about to throw away his phone when it buzzed again and again.

 **Kenma [16:07]:** played the demo a while ago but couldnt afford the full game  
**Kenma [16:07]:** i love it  
**Kenma [16:07]:** u didnt have to get me anything tho  
**Kenma [16:07]:** yaku says he has lev under control btw  
**Kenma [16:08]:** and im sorry too  
**Kenma [16:08]:** but i need time  
**Kenma [16:08]:** or space  
**Kenma [16:09]:** both?

It was a bittersweet feeling. He was happy Kenma had liked the game and had finally text him back. But the fact that it was now Kenma who wanted the distance made his chest feel empty. He was glad they weren’t video calling, or he wouldn’t have been able to hide the sadness on his face.

 **Kuroo [16:14]:** Sure, I understand.  
**Kuroo [16:14]:** Take your time, I’ll always be there for you.

He should’ve kept his routine of re-reading every single message at least three or four times before sending them, because the last one was clearly a mistake. How could he claim he’d always be there, when he was literally _not there?_ He prayed it wouldn’t start a new argument, not when they’d finally talked again. It didn’t, but it didn’t get him a reply either.

It wasn’t until later that night when he made the mistake of checking his social media. A few of his old teammates had posted pictures of Kenma’s birthday, and a sad smile grew on his face. _I should have been there with them_ , he thought. At least Kenma wasn’t alone, he should have known they wouldn’t fail him. Not like Kuroo did. He went through the album, and stopped when he came across a face he didn’t recognize. It was some short kid, giant smile and bright hair, sitting right next to Kenma on pretty much every photo. He should have ignored his curiosity and went to sleep, but of course he couldn’t. He checked the tags on the photos and sighed, defeated. _Shouyou._

✧

They didn’t talk again until Kuroo’s birthday next month, and it was as awkward as he could have expected. Kenma had texted him first for once, wishing him a nice day, and not two minutes later Kuroo was asking who the shrimp from Kenma’s birthday was. He only confirmed it really was Shouyou, and when Kuroo asked what he was doing there, Kenma’s text was final.

 **Kenma [00:11]:** He was being there for me.

Way to go, Kuroo. Maybe one day he’d learn to think before talking.

✧

Christmas was around the corner and Kuroo’s parents had gotten him tickets to visit during the holidays. It was weird being back home, but the worst part was not being able to just drop unannounced at Kenma’s place next door. Kuroo had sent a text letting him know he would be home for a week, and another one when he arrived, but both were ignored. It didn’t really come as a surprise, but it hurt nonetheless.

He waited three days before approaching his neighbor’s door. If Kenma’s mother knew anything about their sinking friendship, she was polite enough to not say anything. She greeted Kuroo with a warm smile and sent him upstairs, as she always did.

A year ago, he would have barged inside Kenma’s bedroom without a care in the world, but he wasn’t sure he’d be welcome now. He knocked on the door, and stood there, hands in his pockets, shoulders down. None of his usual confidence was showing.

After what felt like forever, the door finally opened and Kenma’s face made a warm smile appear on his face. “Hey,” Kuroo greeted, sounding almost shy. Kenma didn’t seem surprised to see him. “Can we talk?”

“... ok,” was his answer after a few missed heartbeats, and Kuroo let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Kenma stepped out of the way and gave him space to enter, but didn’t move from beside the doorway. Kuroo took it as a sign that he shouldn’t get too comfortable. His chest hurt.

“How have you been?” was all he could think as a conversation starter. Offering a reluctant smile that the other didn’t seem to care much about.

“Great,” said Kenma, drily. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there. Kuroo couldn’t blame, him, really.

“Oh,” was his very eloquent reply. This conversation was going great, clearly. He shifted his weight to the other foot, uncomfortably. When did he start finding it so hard to read Kenma’s face? Was a year apart really enough to grow this abyss between them?

“I’m going to Tokyo-U,” Kenma finally said. He threw a quick glance his way, before looking away to his TV screen again, displaying a game menu. His hair was longer than the last time they met, and it was covering most of his face.

“Are you gonna be ok over there?” he worried, frowning. They were supposed to be together, and now he’d had to do it alone.

“I managed all this year by myself, didn’t I?” Kenma’s voice was so low he almost missed it. The pain in his chest increased and Kuroo had to try really hard not to sigh in frustration.

“But you had the team here. You’ll be alone next year.” He didn’t even know what his point was. Why state the obvious, reminding them both _why_ it was Kenma would be alone?

“What do you want me to do, Kuroo?” he snapped, lifting his gaze. “Pause my life until you decide to come back?” Kenma narrowed his eyes, clenching his jaw. He’d seen that look on his face before, but never directed at him.

“That’s…” Kuro flinched, failing to find the words. “That’s not what I meant, Kenma. I’m just worried,” he insisted, closing his fists inside his pockets. The logical part of his brain knew Kenma was more than capable of doing just fine on his own. Even better than Kuroo himself, probably. But he'd always been overprotective and worried too much when it came to him.

Kenma scoffed. He _scoffed_ and turned to him, tilting his head slightly to the side. His golden eyes were colder than he’d ever seen them.

Time seemed to stop all of a sudden. Not a sound except for the background music on the game’s menu screen. _Dearly Beloved_ was a good soundtrack for his breaking heart.

“Maybe you should leave,” Kenma finally said, looking away again.

Kuroo froze. _What?_

“Please, Kuro,” his voice almost failed him.

Kuroo’s mind went blank. This couldn’t be happening. Was that it? Were they done for good this time? He felt the sting in his eyes growing, and knew that there was no fixing this. Not now.

“Ok,” he nodded reluctantly. “But there’s just one thing I need to do first,” he added, slowly taking a step closer.

That got Kenma to look at him again, confusion written on his face. He almost looked scared, and lifted a foot to take a step backwards, away from him.

Kuroo grabbed his wrist, and firmly but gently yanked his arm, making Kenma stumble forwards and crash against his chest. He wrapped his arms around Kenma’s small frame.

“What are you doing?” Kenma was struggling, trying to break free. His hands were laying flat against Kuroo’s stomach, on a failed attempt to push him away, voice muffled against him.

“Just five minutes, Kitten,” he whispered in his ear. “Five minutes and I’ll let you go,” he promised.

Kenma stilled. Shaking hands suddenly curled into fists grabbing the fabric of his shirt. Kuroo hugged him tighter, nose on his hair. He ignored the increasing wetness of his shirt, and Kenma ignored his trembling shoulders.

Five minutes turned into fifteen. He mumbled another _sorry_ before breaking the hug. Kenma made a point of not meeting his eyes, the back of his hand drying his tears. Kuroo extended a hand, but Kenma took a step backwards, flinching.

“Goodbye, Kitten,” Kuroo sighed, and turned to leave.

“Goodbye, Kuro,” he managed to hear right before closing the door.

✧

He forced himself to follow a strict routine, and it seemed to work so far. He would work out early mornings, go to classes and focus on studying during the week. His grades were better than ever and he was actually enjoying himself. He’d made friends and on Saturdays they’d get together for drinks or movie marathons. A few times he left the bar with someone to warm his bed. Always blond, always shorter than him.

On Sundays he’d allow himself a few hours of moping. He would think of Kenma and everything he’d left behind. They hadn’t talked again since that Christmas week, except for awkward birthday greetings. All he knew of him was what he could find on social media, and through their ex-teammates, who still didn’t understand what had happened between them but promised not to meddle.

A year after Kuroo left, Kenma moved closer to Tokyu-U. He didn’t post much, but every once in a while he’d be tagged in someone else’s pictures. It was mostly Yaku and Lev, who went to visit him almost every month. They didn’t seem to be the only ones, though, and Kuroo wasn’t surprised when he saw Shouyou had been doing the same.

Two years after Kuroo left, Kenma had started working, although he never mentioned where. He kept showing up on more of Lev’s pictures, since he had started attending Tokyo-U as well. Kenma always looked annoyed, Lev had always had that effect on him. He smiled to himself, ignoring the pang on his chest at the knowledge that Shouyou had also moved there. The three of them seemed to hang out a lot, now.

His third year went pretty much the same way, Sundays being simultaneously his most and least favorite day of the week. Classes were getting harder, but nothing he couldn’t manage. His occasional one-night stands kept being always blond, never the same person twice. None of them could ever replace the one his heart longed for.

His microwave beeped and he realized he’d been staring at Kenma’s latest picture for at least 15 minutes. He picked up his instant ramen and went back to his desk. It wouldn’t hurt to stare a bit longer. It was a good picture: Kenma’s hair was longer, passing his shoulders. He kept the same blond color, barely showing his dark roots. He was laying on his side on a bed, playing with a tiny black kitten. There was a relaxed smile on his face, and he looked happy. He tried not to think too much about who might have taken the picture.

He closed his laptop and thanked the internet gods that there were no counters or notifications on how many times he visited someone else's profile. _Wait_ , he thought, and reached for his phone.

 **Tetsubro [2:24]:** Bo, do you get a notification if I check your FB profile?  
**Brokuto [2:25]:** no??

Kuroo sighed in relief. Nobody needed to know how much of a stalker he had been lately. He left his phone on the bedside table and got up to get his books. Homework wouldn't finish itself, sadly, but the device kept buzzing and he kinda wanted to smash it against a wall.

 **Brokuto [2:29]:** why, u do???  
**Brokuto [2:29]:** oh my gOD  
**Brokuto [2:29]:** akaashi's gonna think im creepy  
**Brokuto [2:30]:** bro please say something  
**Brokuto [2:31]:** just checked ur profile like 3 times did u get anythinf????

He couldn't help but cackle at his friend's texts. When was the last time he laughed? He could almost hear Kenma calling him a hyena. Bokuto didn't even know how much he had been helping him, lifting up his spirits. Maybe he should tell him more often how much he appreciated his friendship. 

**Tetsubro [2:33]:** Calm down Bo, I didn't get anything. Apparently it doesn't work like that.  
**Brokuto [2:33]:** thank fuck dont scare me like that bro!!  
**Brokuto [2:33]:** i almost had a heart attack  
**Tetsubro [2:34]:** Sorry sorry! Thanks for the laugh tho  
**Tetsubro [2:34]:** Wait, who's Akaashi?  
**Brokuto [2:34]:** r u laughing at me?? :(  
**Brokuto [2:35]:** what do u mean whos akaashi?  
**Brokuto [2:35]:** AKAASHI'S THE BEST

No more than fifteen seconds later, his phone was ringing and Bokuto's picture appeared on his screen. He spent the following hour and a half hearing about Akaashi's best qualities and zero flaws. Getting early for Physics would suck tomorrow, but it was worth it to hear the happiness in his friend's voice. He really hoped Akaashi, whoever he was, would like him back. Bokuto deserved the world.

✧

His parents had traveled all the way to London for his graduation, and Kuroo realized how much he’d missed them. He only went back home once more for Christmas, and Kenma hadn’t been there. The ceremony was short, and he found himself free of excuses keeping him away from home. He spent the rest of the week showing his family around London, and finally, four years after he moved there, he was sitting on a plane leaving the city for the last time.

After living abroad for so long, he felt like an outsider at his parents house, and decided to get a place for himself. He’d be lying if he said it wasn’t on purpose when the apartment he liked the most was the one closest to Tokyo-U.

He had been at his new home for a week now, and still hadn’t gathered the courage to text Kenma letting him know he was back. He’d posted about it on his FB account, though, but he wasn’t sure if Kenma had the same stalkerish tendencies he had. Maybe he had forgotten about him already. They hadn’t talked in almost a year, after all.

Bored out of his mind after applying for a few jobs online, he decided to go out for a walk around his new neighborhood. He’d been there several times in the past, and before he knew it, his feet had taken him to Kenma’s favorite game shop. _Arcadia_ , read a big led sign. He smiled, thinking back on the amount of times his friend had dragged him there, looking for new games. He wondered if they actually were friends, now. Pushing the thought to the back of his mind, he decided to take a look inside for old times sake.

The place didn’t seem to have changed too much since he last visited. He started browsing the games out of habit, a hand in his pocket, when someone approached him.  
“Can I help you?” A black-haired guy asked. The scowl on his face didn’t make it sound like he really wanted to help him, though.

“Nah, I’m good. Just browsing,” he shook his head and waved a hand, turning to check a different part of the shop. The other guy nodded, wordlessly. Kuroo was checking the latest releases when bright orange hair caught his attention from the corner of his eye.

There was a short boy at the counter, talking to someone he couldn't see from where he was standing. _Shouyou_ said his name tag, and he looked like sunshine impersonated. He could have recognized that face anywhere.

He grabbed the first game within his reach without even thinking, and approached the counter. He just needed an excuse. He wasn’t sure what for, he just went with his gut.

“Hi there! Welcome to Arcadia,” beamed the shrimp and Kuroo was almost blinded by his smile. “Is that everything?” Hinata pointed at the game in his hands when Kuroo didn’t greet back, still stunned into silence. 

It really was him. What were the odds? Did life really hate him so much? How could someone look so _happy_? Well, of course he’d be happy. He was Kenma’s friend. What else could anyone want?

“Uhm, hello?” a hand waving in front of his face shook him out of his thoughts. He nodded, mumbling something not even himself could understand, and handed him the game. He dropped his credit card on top of the counter, at a loss of what to say.

Hinata didn’t seem phased by his behavior, he probably wasn’t the first weirdo to buy something there.

"Hey, what was the code for credit cards again?" Hinata asked to the floor, somewhere to his right. Kuroo raised an eyebrow when the floor replied with a groan.

"The list is right there next to the register, like the first hundred times you asked" his partner stood up, without even glancing at Kuroo, sighing and rolling his eyes. It was the picture of exasperation. He would've snort at his expression, if he didn't find himself frozen in shock.

_"Kenma?"_


	3. Coming Back To You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished this chapter at 5am on a saturday night instead of studying. Who cares about exams when you can be writing gay fanfiction right??
> 
> No beta, feel free to point any awful mistakes I might have made.

No amount of stalking could have prepared Kuroo for the view in front of him. Kenma’s long hair was styled in a half bun, a few blond strands framing his face, his ears barely poking through. Were those _piercings_? He’d grown at least 10cm, unlike Kuroo who had remained pretty much the same height, although more muscular. Even Kenma’s clothing style was different, dressed in dark tones, tight jeans and some rock band shirt. He looked _good_.

His voice had come out so low that no one seemed to hear when he called Kenma’s name. They didn’t notice him freaking out, too busy bickering over the cash register. “Come on, Shouyou, even Kageyama can do this,” noted Kenma, raising a pierced eyebrow. “Hey!” a voice protested from somewhere else in the store. Kuroo couldn’t do anything else but stare at them, eyebrows up and his mouth open like an idiot. Kenma still hadn’t looked his way.

“Wanna open a rewards account? You can exchange points for discounts and stuff,” Hinata offered, and Kuroo nodded wordlessly without even knowing what he was agreeing to. He might’ve as well just agreed to sell his organs for all he cared. His brain had stopped working and he wondered if he was hallucinating. There was no way Kenma was right _there_.

“Alright then! I just need your name and an email address,” Hinata said. Kuroo blinked. “Uhm I’ll just get your name from your credit card and we can fill the rest of the form some other day,” he continued. “Wait… Kuroo Tetsurou?” his tone sounded a bit weirder this time, and he lifted his head up again to look at him.

Kuroo didn’t notice, though, because as soon as his name was said out loud, something crashed to the floor and snapped him out of his shock. He turned in the direction of the noise. It was Kenma’s turn now to stare, eyes wide open, lips parted, but no sound coming out.

Someone cleared their throat and Kuroo turned his head to see Hinata fidgeting in his place. "Are you Kenma's Kuroo?" he asked, shyly, and Kuroo's heart melted at how that sounded. Oh, how Kuroo wanted to be _his_.

"I…" How was he supposed to answer that? He quickly glanced at Kenma, who was still frozen, and then back at Shouyou. "I guess? I mean, we're friends?" He failed at sounding convinced that they really were.

Hinata's face transformed. "That's so cool! I've been wanting to meet you forever! I didn’t know you were back!" He beamed, excitedly throwing his arms around. He wondered if that’s what a child between Bokuto and Lev would be like, and hoped those two would never get to meet.

“Shouyou,” Kenma talked for the first time since seeing he was there. Both Kuroo and Hinata turned to him, but that didn’t seem to be enough to stop the him from talking.

“He talks so much about you! I knew you would-” he continued, until a Cactuar plush flew right to his face.

“Shouyou! Shut up!” Kenma raised his voice, eyebrows twitching. His new hairstyle didn’t hide his face as much as his old one did, though. He was blushing, red up to the points of his ears. His _pierced_ ears.

Kuroo’s heart fluttered at the sight, and he thought maybe, just maybe, he could still salvage their friendship. Hoping for something more seemed like too much, seeing how he was still with Hinata. He’d take what he could get, though. Just having Kenma back in his life was enough for him.

“Sorry, sorry,” Hinata chuckled, scratching the back of his neck and lifting a hand in defense. “I’ll, uh, leave you guys to catch up,” he smiled sheepishly, and started bouncing towards the black-haired employee who was still setting up a display.

“There’s no need,” said Kenma, his face back to a frown, without a sign of his previous embarrassment.

Hinata stopped in his tracks, awkwardly shifting his gaze between the two of them.

“What are the odds?” Kuroo asked out of nowhere, desperately trying to salvage the situation. “I live a few blocks from this store, I didn’t know you work here,” he added with a reluctant smile.

Kenma turned to him, scanning his face like he wasn’t sure if he believed him. “You would’ve known if you hadn’t left me behind,” he accused, narrowing his eyes.

“I didn’t…” Kuroo huffed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. _Here we go again_ , he thought. “Kenma, I didn’t _leave_ you,” he sighed. He should have known better than to get his hopes up. 

“My bad, I must’ve imagined the four years I spent by myself.” He stared at him, scrunching his nose, before turning to the cashier. “Do you need any more help?”

“Huh? Uh… Nope, I think I got it,” replied Hinata, visibly uncomfortable. Kenma nodded and turned to leave.

“C’mon, Kenma. I _tried_ talking to you and you kept ignoring me, every single time,” Kuroo insisted. Kenma ignored him, further proving his point, and took a few steps forwards to the backroom door.

"Kenma, _please_." He didn't want to give up now that he'd finally found him, but did it have to be so hard?

"What do you want, Tetsurou?" Kuroo flinched at the use of his name.

"Would you... Would you like to get something to eat? You used to love the apple pie from the café around the corner," he offered, faking his best smile.

Kenma stopped again and directed a cold stare at him. Kuroo stopped breathing. "No," he said and stepped into the backroom, slamming the door behind him.

Kuroo exhaled and suddenly looked so much smaller. "Damn, why can't I just get through to him?" He wondered to himself, banging his fist against the counter and making a set of boxed figures collapse to the floor.

"Oi!" exclaimed the black-haired guy, his scowl growing fiercer now. "I just finished setting that up," he complained. 

"Sorry," Kuroo replied mindlessly, not moving to help pick them back. He _had_ to leave before losing his sanity. Maybe he'd already lost it, seeing he had let himself believe he still had a chance to fix things. He looked at Hinata, who seemed to be about to pass out from nervousness.

That’s when it hit him. Of course. Kenma never felt the same way he did, and he didn’t miss him as much as Kuroo did. He clearly didn’t need him, he already had found a replacement on Hinata. He wondered if they were _together_. Maybe Hinata was braver than he ever was. “Tell your boyfriend I said sorry,” he said, pointing to the back-room door with his thumb. The boy's face went as red as his hair, looking at him with his eyes and mouth wide open, mumbling something indecipherable.

Kuroo let out a breath that almost sounded like a dry laugh, shrugging and failing at hiding the sadness on his face. He left the store, without waiting for Hinata to get over his shock. He missed the shy glance Hinata threw Kageyama’s way, who was currently going through the same door Kenma used before.

✧

Kuroo was queuing up to pay for his dinner at the convenience store when his phone buzzed. He checked the screen and furrowed his brows when he saw it was an unknown number.

 **Unknown [17:35]:** hi!! is this your current number??

He almost ignored it, but something made him reply. Maybe he just needed a distraction from his raging thoughts.

 **Kuroo [17:37]:** I guess it depends on who you think I am? Who are you?  
**Unknown [17:37]:** its hinata!!  
**Unknown [17:38]:** shouyou, from the store!!

He groaned, earning a glare from the old lady standing in front of him. What could the shrimp possibly want from him? And how did he get his number? Did he have to end every single phrase with exclamation points?

 **Kuroo [17:40]:** Oh  
**Kuroo [17:40]:** Sorry for causing a scene.  
**Hinata [17:40]:** no worries!!  
**Hinata [17:41]:** you forgot your wallet and game here!  
**Hinata [17:41]:** my shift ends at 7, would u like to meet somewhere to pick them up?  
**Hinata [17:42]:** and maybe we could talk??

His hand instinctively went to his back pocket, finding it empty. "Shit," he cursed, and left the queue to put his now not-dinner back in its place. He wondered what this kid might want to talk to him about. Maybe he'd ask him to back off and leave Kenma alone? He hoped it wasn't the case, already having decided he wouldn't give up again. Seeing him in person for the first time in years had made his feelings afloat stronger than ever.

 **Kuroo [17:48]:** Sure, where would you like to go?

Hinata was calling him almost immediately, and after an awkward conversation they agreed on a place to meet.

✧

An hour and a half later, they were seated at the back of a busy café.

"It's nice to officially meet you, Kuroo," said Hinata, slightly bowing his head. He wondered where all the energy this kid seemed to have gone. He was suddenly acting serious, like an entire different person. 

"It's good to meet you, too," he lied through his teeth, a forced grin on his face. Jury was still out on whether he liked the guy or not. He couldn't be so bad if Kenma liked him, he'd always been a good judge of character. But that was the problem, wasn't it? Kenma _liked_ him.

Hinata must have seen through his charade, because he was shifting in his seat, nervously. A part of Kuroo was glad he could still be intimidating, not wanting the other to see he was actually terrified of whatever could come from this conversation. 

"What did you wanna talk about?" He asked, hoping Hinata would go straight to the point. He didn't care much for small talk right now. 

"It's about Kenma," said Hinata as if it wasn’t obvious, and grabbed a small sugar packet from their table to play with. "I know things got a little bit weird earlier today," he started, and Kuroo raised an eyebrow at the understatement. "But he really misses you, you know?"

No, Kuroo didn't know. In fact, it looked like the exact opposite. "Are you sure we were following the same conversation? That couldn’t have been worse," he objected, frowning. 

Hinata smiled in response. What a weird kid. “Hey, at least you didn’t get anything thrown at your face!” He pointed out.

“His attitude hurt more than anything he could have thrown at me, though,” Kuroo objected, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Well, yeah… But you know him even better than I do," Kuroo wasn't so sure that was still true, but nodded anyway. No way he'd accept defeat against Hinata. "He's just afraid to drop down his walls only for you to leave again," he explained matter-of-factly.

Kuroo bit the inside of his cheek, trying to read between the lines. The accusation hurt, but he couldn’t say he didn’t deserve it. Was this guy honestly trying to help them, or were there any hidden intentions behind his words?

"Look, all I'm saying is you shouldn't give up. I won't tell you everything he went through these past few years, or why he kept ignoring you, that's up to him. All I can say is that his anxiety got worse over time, and I'm sure having you back around would be good for him." Hinata sounded honest, and Kuroo felt slightly guilty for doubting him.

"But he doesn't even want to see me. How can I at least get him to _talk_ to me?" Kuroo asked, resting his elbows on the table, hiding his face behind his hands. He knew he had to figure out a way to rekindle their relationship, hoping Kenma still had a spot for him in his heart, but how? How could he get Kenma to forgive him without having to explain why he left in the first place?

"I'll talk to him, but only under one condition," Hinata offered solemnly. Kuroo looked up. "If you're just gonna end up running away again, then don't bother," he said, tilting his head to a side, eyes wide. "You don't get a third chance," he finished, and Kuroo winced at the cold stare on Hinata's face. 

"I know," Kuroo was quick to assure him. "I won't mess up again, I'll do everything in my power to make things right again," he promised, more serious than ever.

That seemed to be enough for Hinata, any trace of his serious - and somewhat creepy - expression completely gone. "Cool!" He beamed, voice suddenly too loud. "Don't tell him what we talked about, though. He'll get mad I meddled," he pleaded. "I'll text you once I manage to convince him to listen to you."

"Thanks Hinata, I really appreciate it," he admitted, tentative smile on his face. “Why are you helping me, though? I don’t get it. Am I not in your way?” Kuroo asked, leaning back onto his seat.

"Huh? He’s my best friend, but you’re his. Or you were, I guess…” he scratched his chin in thought. “He was really hurt when you left, and maybe I’m making a mistake sticking my nose when it’s none of my business. But you’re important to him, and I’m sure he’d be happier with you around. I just want to help, I'd do anything for Kenma," he explained.

"Yeah, so would I," was all Kuroo said, wondering what the exact nature of their relationship was. A pang of jealousy went right through his heart. 

✧

Kuroo decided to give Kenma some space and wait for Hinata to contact him first. But then a week went by, and he hadn’t had any news. Was the guy playing with him? Maybe he just pretended to be nice and was trying to trick him into staying away from Kenma. That’s what he would have done in his place, anyway, if anyone ever looked at his boyfriend the way Kuroo did.

Another week passed and Kuroo was running out of patience. He’d been hanging out a lot with Bokuto since coming back to Japan, but never mentioned his encounter with Kenma at Arcadia. His friend was too impulsive for his own good and would have only dragged him onto the store, demanding Kenma’s attention. That would _not_ end well.

It was the third Moping Sunday when Hinata finally wrote. Kenma wasn't up to meeting up by themselves, but he wasn't opposed the idea of Kuroo visiting at work. Saying that it didn't hurt would be a lie, but Kuroo would take anything Kenma was willing to give him.

He jumped off his bed, took a quick shower and spent an hour picking his clothes.  
After a second hour of trying and failing to fix his hair, he was excitedly opening the door when he realized the store was closed on Sundays. He let out a loud groan and went back inside, kicking off his shoes and plopping down on his couch. Back to moping it was, then.

The next morning he had a series of job interviews, and spent the first half of the afternoon running all possible scenarios in his head for what would happen later. He really hoped they wouldn’t fight again, he wasn’t sure how much more his heart could handle.

After checking himself in the mirror for the hundredth time, he took off and practically ran all the way to Arcadia. He wasn’t proud of the twenty minutes he stood at the store door, trying to gather his courage to go inside. He would have stayed there for a lot longer if someone hadn’t opened the door for him.

“You’ve been standing there for a while, should I call the police?” A soft voice pulled him from his thoughts.

Kuroo looked up to find a bored looking guy staring at him. He reminded him of someone, but couldn’t remember who. “Uhm, no, sorry,” he apologized. “I’m looking for Kenma.”

“Ah, you must be Kuroo-san,” the guy stepped out of the way, motioning for him to enter. Was he staring at his hair? Kuroo suddenly felt self-conscious. “He’s hiding in the stockroom, just ask Hinata to get him,” he pointed to the counter.

Kuroo thanked him and walked in that direction, where Hinata was already beaming at him. “Kenma! I need your help with this order!” He called, lifting a finger to his lips and winking at Kuroo, who stayed quiet.

“Again? Can’t you ask Keiji for once?” Kenma complained, walking out of the room. He took a few steps towards Hinata and slowed down to a stop when he realized who else was there. Their eyes met and Kuroo forgot how to breathe.

“Hey,” Kuroo waved timidly. Kenma threw a glance at him, but quickly focused on Hinata again. He didn’t seem surprised to see him there. He didn’t seem happy to see him there, either.

“Kenma…” Hinata raised his eyebrows to his friend, tilting his head towards Kuroo.

Kenma only huffed and dropped his gaze to his feet, shrugging.

“Isn’t there a new game coming out tonight?” Hinata asked, eyebrows going even higher, gaze intense. Kenma twitched, looking between them, and finally turned to Kuroo. Hinata seemed satisfied, and went to the other side of the store, not before patting Kenma’s shoulder and giving Kuroo a thumbs-up.

Kuroo let out a half-hearted laugh. He’d used that tactic before, kidnapping Kenma’s 3DS to get him to do something he didn’t want to. He never thought he’d be the something Kenma didn’t care about.

“Hey,” Kuroo tried again, moving closer to where Kenma was standing.

“Hi, Kuroo.” Kenma narrowed his eyes, looking to the side.

“I talked to your boyfriend,” Kuroo said, resting his elbows and forearms over the counter that separated them. “He said I could come visit,” he added, studying his face for any reactions.

Kenma seemed confused. “What boyfriend?” He asked, fingers fidgeting on his pockets. It was strange seeing him without his phone or a handheld game as a crutch for his anxiety.

Kuroo blinked. “Wow Kitten, I don’t know. How many boyfriends do you have?” He teased, smirking. Was he playing dumb? Or had Kuroo read too much into his relationship with Hinata?

Kenma flinched, and only then Kuroo realized how he’d called him. He mentally _tsk’d_ at himself.

“I don’t have a boyfriend.” Kenma locked eyes with him for a heartbeat, before looking away again. “And don’t call me that.”

“Oh” Kuroo failed at keeping the relief off his face. “I thought you and Hinata…” he trailed off, throwing a glimpse at him, who was looking at them from where he was standing. He’d never heard of subtlety, it seemed, from how he was almost vibrating on his feet.

Kenma’s expression turned into something he couldn’t read. “Actually…” Kuroo felt his heart sink. “We gave it a try,” a light blush crept into Kenma’s cheeks. “It didn’t work, though. He’s just so…” he made a gesture with his hand, like he couldn’t find the word he was looking for. “He’s so _Shouyou_ ,” he said, as if that explained anything, a soft smile on his lips. “And he wasn't…” he looked back at Kuroo, smile gone, and something in Kenma’s eyes made him gulp.

His mind was spinning. There were so many questions he wanted to ask he didn’t know where to start. He didn’t know if he _wanted_ to know. How far had Kenma and Hinata gone in their relationship? How long had it lasted? When was the last time he’d seen Kenma smile like that? Was he too _Kuroo_ for things to work out between them? And the question that would definitely keep him awake for the following nights: Why was he looking at him like _that_?

Kenma flicked his forehead, bringing him back from his reeling thoughts. “How long are you staying in Japan?” he asked. He actually asked him a question instead of only replying to his. _Progress_ , Kuroo thought.

“I’m here for good, I’ve been doing job interviews and all,” he replied, confidently. He hoped it would be proof enough to show him he was serious this time.

Kenma stared at him, lips tight on a straight line. He didn’t seem to believe him. “How long until you change your mind?” He stared at him.

“You know, Akaashi? There’s this cool game coming out tonight. Kenma lent me his Switch since he’s not interested, maybe we could hang out tonight and give it a try?” a loud voice came from the corner of the store. Wait, did he say Akaashi? ‘ _Akaashi’s the best_ ’ Akaashi? He filed that question in his brain for another time.

“Sounds good, Hinata. Maybe we could also get his PS4, he kinda sounds like he’s over videogames,” the other guy agreed.

"Can't you at least _pretend_ you're not listening to a private conversation?" Kenma groaned. Hinata stuck his tongue out at him.

“I’m not leaving again, Kenma,” Kuroo assured him. “I really am sorry for everything that happened,” he added, grateful for Hinata and Akaashi’s intervention.

Kenma studied his face for a minute. Kuroo held his breath. “You better don’t,” he said, looking sideways, cheeks pink.

“I promise, Kenma,” he smiled, letting himself believe things might just be getting better for them. Kenma nodded as his only reply, but that was enough for Kuroo. Things _would_ get better. Kenma was giving him a chance.

They stood in silence for a while, but it wasn’t uncomfortable or awkward like it had been before. They were in the process of getting familiar with each other’s presence again, Kuroo knew Kenma needed time and he was willing to wait for as long as necessary.

A few moments later, Kenma turned to Hinata. “I behaved, can I get my Switch back?” he asked, a pout on his face. Kuroo almost fainted at his expression. How could he be so _cute_?

Hinata turned to Akaashi. “What do you think?” He pretended to be seriously considering his question, but they all knew Kenma was getting his game back. 

“I think he earned it. That was way better than your last conversation with Kageyama,” Akaashi pointed out. Hinata's face was on fire.

Kuroo laughed at their banter, and when he turned back to Kenma, he was met with a small, shy smile, almost imperceptible. He smiled back, warmth spreading through his chest.


	4. Watching From The Sidelines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes some fluff (and some angst because I hate myself but yay fluff)
> 
> I think rating might go up on the next chapter or the next after that? Nothing explicit though, I can't write smut to save my life but... yeah we'll see how it goes.
> 
> No beta, feel free to point any awful mistakes I might have made.

Kuroo started spending most of his free time after work at Arcadia. Kenma still was somewhat cold towards him, and didn’t want to be alone with him, but he didn’t complain when Kuroo kept showing up at the store and staying until it closed. They talked about video games, the weird clients Kenma sometimes got, the cool experiments Kuroo had to run at his new job at a biochemical research facility, and their coworkers - mostly Hinata and Kageyama, who Kuroo learned were into each other but too dumb to realize it. They were both cool in their own way, but turned into dorks when interacting with the other. It was painful to watch, actually, and Kuroo promised himself he’d try to find a way to help Hinata. He was well aware that he wouldn’t be spending any time with Kenma at all if it wasn’t for him.

Knowing that there wasn’t anything more than friendship between Kenma and Hinata made it easier to feel comfortable around the younger boy. He still had a lot of questions about their past relationship, though, but he didn’t think it was his place to ask. All he knew was that it had started a few months after Hinata moved to Tokyo, it lasted a little under a year, and they broke up on mutual accord after realizing both of them were just trying to get over someone else. That opened up a whole other bunch of questions Kuroo found himself dying to pry about, but Kenma didn’t seem willing to reply. He decided to let it go for the moment, respecting the tacit agreement they had on not talking about anything related to their past that could start another fight.

It was weird, not being able to just grab his hand or throw an arm around his shoulders. More than once he had barely stopped himself in time before ruffling Kenma’s hair when he said something sarcastic that made Kuroo laugh, or reaching for his cheek when Kenma smiled. And oh, those little smiles were the _worst_. Every now and then he’d catch Kenma absently looking at him, a timid but warm smile on his face, and every single time it made Kuroo’s heart skip a beat. Those moments didn’t last long, though, because as soon Kuroo smiled back and Kenma realized he’d been caught, he’d suddenly remember something he _had_ to check on the stockroom and flee, face beet red. By the time he returned, Kuroo had always managed to gather the resolve to confess his never ending love, only to lose it when Kenma made a point of not looking at him again for the rest of the day.

Sometimes Hinata invited Kuroo to get dinner with them after the store closed, but a glance at Kenma’s scrunching nose told him he wasn’t ready for that. “Maybe next time,” Kuroo would always say, faking his brightest smile. He wasn’t sure anyone bought it. At least they were on talking terms, and that was much more than he had expected when he first came back. Just watching from the sidelines was enough for him, being there but not really _there_. He was still an outsider, and until Kenma was comfortable around him again, he wouldn’t push for more. That didn’t mean he didn’t hope and daydream about holding him. Because he did. A _lot_. Moping Sundays had turned into Pining Sundays, which wasn’t much better, but an improvement nonetheless. _Progress_.

✧

He’d been back home for a few months already when Bokuto invited him to movie night at his boyfriend's dorm. They’d been dating for a while, but Kuroo hadn’t met the guy yet, Bokuto’s crazy schedule always clashing with Kuroo’s. He said his boyfriend’s roommate and a few friends would be there, but that they were cool. A bit weird, but cool. Kuroo wondered what could possibly be weird in Bokuto's mind, since he was the weirdest person he'd ever met.

When the door opened, he found himself staring at Kenma's bored looking coworker. "Akaashi?" he raised his eyebrows.

"Ah, so it _was_ you," was Akaashi's greeting, inviting him in with a flick of his hand.

Kuroo stepped inside, confusion written on his face.

"Bro!! I'm so glad you came!" Bokuto's loud voice came from the living room. He rushed to the genkan and gave Kuroo a half-hug that he happily accepted.

"Hey Bo, it's good to see you," Kuroo replied, hugging him back.

"Indoor voice, Bokuto-san", said Akaashi.

"Gah! Sorry, ‘Kaashi" Bokuto immediately apologized. "Bro, I'm so glad you came," he repeated, as if Kuroo hadn't heard him the first time, but it was almost a whisper now.

Akaashi smiled affectionately and Kuroo understood why Bokuto was so far gone. He was good looking even with his usual blank expression and all, but the look on his face when looking at his boyfriend could have won anyone’s heart. Almost anyone’s, because Kuroo’s already belonged to Kenma and nothing would ever change that.

He stepped further into their home, and was surprised to see Hinata and Kageyama were also there, awkwardly sitting next to each other on the couch. “Hey,” they both greeted, and he waved back. Bokuto opened his mouth to officially introduce them, but Akaashi lifted up a hand, stopping him. "We've already met, Bokuto-san, he's been going to the store quite often. I thought it might be the same Kuroo-san you always ramble about, but I wasn't sure until now," he explained. 

"Why didn't you say anything if you knew it was me?" He realized then why Akaashi had seemed familiar when he first met him: Bokuto had sent him a blurry picture of his then crush a few years ago. He mentally cursed at the fact that he could have been getting inside info about Kenma for years if he’d known before his best friend’s boyfriend worked with him.

“I said I _thought_ you might be. You must think very highly of yourself if you believe you're the only Kuroo-san in this world.” Akaashi shrugged. 

Kuroo groaned. Akaashi was _not_ the best. He was about to ask if he was always this rude to his guests, when Bokuto interrupted.

"Wait! Does that mean he’s your Kenma?" Bokuto asked, pointing towards someone behind Kuroo, who turned so fast he almost gave himself whiplash.

He felt his knees buckle. Kenma was standing there, startled.

"Oh" Kenma's lips formed a perfect 'o' and Kuroo wanted to kiss him so bad. If looks could kill, Akaashi would be so very dead right now, because Kenma was glaring daggers at him. But since that wasn't possible, he was still smiling all smug pretending not no notice Kenma while trying to calm down an overly excited Bokuto. Yeah, Akaashi had definitely planned this reunion and Kuroo now had someone else to thank.

They ordered some food and made themselves comfortable on the couch. It was too small for six people, so Akaashi plopped down in Bokuto's lap, who immediately wrapped his arms against his boyfriend’s waist and pulled him back onto his chest. The familiarity of the gesture made Kuroo jealous, remembering when he and Kenma used to sit like that, although they never had the relationship these other two shared. He was happy for his friend, he wouldn't have gotten through the past four years if it wasn't for Bokuto. But he really missed the closeness he had lost.

With them sat Kageyama and then Kuroo, elbow propped on the armrest. Hinata was sitting on the floor, back resting against the front of the couch next to Kageyama’s legs, and next to him was Kenma, cross legged between Kuroo’s parted legs, doing his best not to touch him. 

If someone asked Kuroo what the movie was about, he would have no idea whatsoever, since all his brain cells were focused on the boy sitting in front on him. His knees burned every time Kenma’s shoulders accidentally brushed against them, and by the way he jumped when it happened, it was having the same effect on him.

Sometime during the movie Kenma had gotten more comfortable and was now resting his back against the front of the couch. His head was resting on Kuroo's knee, an arm wrapped around his leg. Was he asleep? He decided to test his luck and slowly reached to run his fingers through blond hair, and felt him lean into the touch. Sleepy Kenma was the most adorable thing in the world and it had been so long since he last saw him like that. Kuroo felt he was going to die.

He felt the weight of Akaashi’s gaze from the corner of his eye, and slightly turned his face to find him smiling, seemingly proud of himself. Kuroo raised a questioning eyebrow, and Akaashi only mouthed his reply, so no one else could hear him: _He’s awake_.

Maybe Akaashi was the best after all.

✧

The movie had ended almost an hour ago, and Kenma had now fallen asleep for real. Kuroo could feel his slow breathing over the fabric of his pants. Hinata and Kageyama had left a while ago, and Kuroo knew he should do the same if he wanted to be able to function at work the next morning. Problem was, that meant waking Kenma up and he just couldn’t bring himself to do that, not when this was the first time they’d been this close in years. He sighed, and eventually leaned forward. “Kitten, I need to get up and leave,” he whispered in his ear, lovingly tucking blond locks behind it so he could take a proper look at his face.

Kenma groaned, frowning with eyes still closed. His pet name had always been quite accurate, Kuroo thought. “Don’t leave,” a half-asleep Kenma asked, and Kuroo’s heart sank remembering the last time he’d heard that.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at the store,” he promised, carefully untangling his leg from Kenma’s arm, and placed a soft kiss at the top of his head. He felt him freeze, startled awake. Their eyes met and Kuroo was sure he’d see anger reflected on Kenma’s face, but he only found muted surprise. He patted his head, mumbling an apology and stood up to leave, turning to Bokuto, whose eyes were open so wide in shock that they seemed about to pop out of their sockets.

“Bokuto-san, would you make sure Kenma goes to bed? I’ll see Kuroo-san out,” Akaashi said, and stepped out of the living room without waiting for a reply, throwing a glance in Kuroo’s direction.

“Seeya next weekend, Kuroo,” Bokuto waved with a worried smile, before obediently kneeling down next to Kenma, trying to get him to move.

Kuroo nodded and waved back, still somewhat numb. Where did that kiss come from? Wasn’t he supposed to be mindful of Kenma’s need for distance? He hoped he hadn’t ruined everything _again_.

He put on his shoes under the scrutinizing gaze of Akaashi. “I messed up, didn’t I?” He asked, letting out a long frustrated sigh.

Akaashi stared at him for a minute before replying. “I wouldn’t say so,” he said. “You surprised him, yes, but I don’t think he was upset. I may not be as close to him as you or Hinata are, but I have been his roommate for three years, and even I know him well enough to know he’d tell you if he really was bothered by your actions.”

“You planned all this, didn’t you?” Something clicked in Kuroo’s brain.

“If by that you mean I knew about you two and thought you needed to meet in a more comfortable space than a videogame store, then yes, I did. You’re welcome, Kuroo-san.” And there it was, that smug smile on Akaashi’s face again.

✧

Kuroo failed at everything he tried to do at work the following day, too anxious about seeing Kenma again. He _knew_ Akaashi was right, if Kenma was mad at him he would’ve already let him know. He’d always done so in the past. But he couldn’t help but feel nervous, their relationship still so fragile. He had to stay overtime at the lab to compensate the amount of messing up he’d done that day, and by the time he finally got to Arcadia there were only 20 minutes left before they closed. That wasn’t enough Kenma time, he regretted, while scanning the store for blond hair.

He found it near the handheld consoles display, and their eyes only met for a too-short instant before Kenma turned his head away, mumbling some greeting he didn’t get. He was wearing his hair down this time, covering his face, but Kuroo still got to see the pink blush that crept on his cheeks. _Cute_ , he thought.

Hinata invited him again to join them for dinner after work. Kuroo followed the routine of looking at Kenma first, silently questioning, and was ready to use his usual excuse when he surprised him: “You can come, if you want.” He did know Kenma well enough to understand he’d only say so if he really wanted him to go with them. He happily accepted after staring at him for a few seconds, wondering if he was hallucinating. This time his bright smile was real.

They went to a curry place nearby and as soon as they were seated, Hinata and Kageyama started challenging each other on who’d be the first to finish their spicier plate. Akaashi just stared at them unimpressed, already used to their nonsense, and Kenma bit down a smile before turning to his Switch. 

“I’m so glad I finally have an actual adult to talk to,” Akaashi said, making Kuroo wonder if that was the way all their dinners went, and he suddenly felt really sorry for Akaashi, being the mom friend to these brats.

Kuroo and Akaashi did most of the talking, the other three chipping in every now and then. They didn’t really have a lot in common except their appreciation for Bokuto, so they first talked about him and their relationship. Eventually the conversation moved to Bokuto’s last trip to visit Kuroo at London, which made Kenma look up for a second before going back to his game, and then about Kuroo’s life abroad. By then Kenma seemed to have completely forgotten about his game, given how he was openly looking at them. Kuroo pretended not to notice, assuming Kenma wasn’t aware of how evident he was being, and kept replying Akaashi’s questions. But why wouldn’t Kenma just _ask_ if he was so curious?

Their conversation was interrupted when Hinata seemed to have gotten past his spice limit threshold, and was now yelling at Kageyama for laughing at him, both with their mouths still full of food.

“Would you kids behave before they kick us out of here?” Akaashi begged, an exasperated look on his face, and Kenma laughed.

Kenma was laughing, and _ah_ , there it was, Kuroo’s favorite sound in the whole world. How could he had forgotten how that sounded? Even the tiny snort he was sure would soon follow was adorable. He remembered how years ago he’d promised himself his only mission in life would be making Kenma laugh every day for the rest of his days, and wondered if he could still fulfill that. He wasn’t sure he still deserved that chance, given how much he’d made him cry.

“Kuroo-san, you’re staring.” Akaashi mumbled and nudged Kuroo's knee with his, pulling him back from his mind, and he was thankful for the distraction before his mind went into a spiral of depressing thoughts.

✧

They left the restaurant after the third time the waitress asked them to keep the volume down, Akaashi regretting all of his decisions in life that had brought him to that moment.

His apartment being on the other side than the rest of their group, Kuroo turned to leave by himself after waving them goodbye, but a “Hey Kuro” and a tug on his jacket sleeve stopped him. It took him a minute to realize Kenma had used his nickname for the first time in years.

“Yeah?” Kuroo asked, a nervous smile on his face. He saw from the corner of his eye that Akaashi was herding the brats away to give them privacy. 

“I’m glad you’re back.” Kenma gave him a heartwarming smile that took Kuroo's breath away. 

"You have no idea how good it is to be here again," he replied, resisting the urge to sweep him up in a hug.

They both waved before turning to leave, and Kuroo shed a few tears on his way home. This time it was from happiness. _Progress_. 

✧

It was Kenma’s birthday and for the first time in years, Kuroo was excited for it. He’d missed his last 4 birthdays and was determined to make up for it. He spent the previous two weeks planning his gift with Akaashi’s help. By the time the day arrived, he was an anxious mess, but was sure Kenma would like it. He hoped.

Akaashi told him to drop by Kenma’s apartment at 5PM, so by noon he was ready to leave and pretty much sitting by the door watching the minutes go by. _An anxious mess_. When the time finally came, he grabbed his stuff and took a cab to Kenma’s place.

He kicked the door, his hands too busy carrying a big box to knock like a normal human being. Ten minutes passed and no one answered so he kicked it again, louder this time. A sleep deprived Kenma opened, his hair a mess pointing at odd angles and a sleepy pout on his face. He was still on his sleepwear, cat patterned pajama pants hanging low on his hips and a sleeveless white shirt. Kuroo’s leg turned into jelly.

“Weren’t you guys supposed to show up at 7?” Kenma asked, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands. Seriously, Kenma needed to stop being so _cute_. It wasn’t fair.

“Akaashi told me it was at 5?” He questioned, arms starting to get tired from holding the boxes.

Kenma hummed in response. “Ah. Well, whatever,” he mumbled and moved out of the way so Kuroo could finally get inside. He yawned, covering his face with an arm and rubbed his eyes again. _For fuck’s sake Kenma please stop_ , Kuroo mentally begged.

“Happy birthday, Kitten,” he smiled, nudging him with the box. Something meowed inside and Kenma stared at him, nonplussed.

“You did not get me a living animal without asking first if I actually wanted one.” Kenma took the box from him, peeking through the holes on the side, but it was too dark to see anything.

“Of course I did,” Kuroo grinned, shameless, showing too much teeth.

“Of course you did,” Kenma sighed. He slowly untied the bow, pretending to be unimpressed, but Kuroo was quite fluent in Kenma’s body language. He opened the box and straightened his lips in a thin line, throwing a quick glance at Kuroo, before looking back down. “I can’t take care of a pet, Kuro, I have a roommate, and I’d need to ask for permission from our landlord,” he protested, carefully grabbing the calico cat and cradling him against his chest. The cat immediately started purring and Kenma bit down a smile.

“Should I take him back to the shelter, then? I’m sure they will accept him if I explain the situation,” Kuroo smirked, already knowing the answer. Kenma looked at him like he wanted to punch his face.

“Don’t you dare,” he groaned, burying his face against the cat’s fur, who kept happily purring. Kuroo’s smile almost didn’t fit on his face.

✧

They’d moved to the couch, where Kenma was playing with the kitten and Kuroo was trying really hard not to melt.

“Who told you?” Kenma didn’t need to finish the question for Kuroo to understand what he meant.

“You hurt me, not believing I can come up with ideas by myself,” Kuroo scoffed, hand in his chest pretending to be offended. Oh, how he had missed their banter.

Kenma only rolled his eyes.

“It was Akaashi,” Kuroo admitted. “He said you were afraid it would bother him, but that you would accept if it came from someone else,” he explained. “He said you have his blessing. He even talked to your landlord already.” 

Kenma smiled at that. “He likes to pretend he's all serious, but he does love to meddle into other people's business,” he observed, absently scratching the cat’s head.

Kuroo laughed. “Yeah, but he's been quite helpful so far. So has been Hinata, too.” He owed them both so much.

“They're good friends. They really helped me get through a lot. I don’t think I would have made it without them.” Kenma said. It was obvious he was trying really hard not to mention Kuroo’s absence during that time.

“I should have been here for you too,” regret was written all over Kuroo’s face. “I don’t know if I'll ever be able to make it up to you,” he frowned, turning in his seat so he was facing Kenma.

Kenma kept silence for a minute before replying, looking down. “You could start by telling me the truth, then. I never understood why you left… I always thought I had done something wrong, but I don't know what. I went through all of our conversations during that past year over and over again in my head and I just don't get it.” Kenma’s voice broke at the same time than Kuroo’s heart did.

“No, Kitten…” he reached for Kenma, hands on his cheeks and gently forcing him to look at him. “It was never your fault.” He pulled Kenma closer, looping his arms around his neck and hugging him. He felt Kenma’s hands and face against his chest. His shoulders were slightly shaking and he knew Kenma was trying really hard not to cry. “I'm so sorry I made you feel that way, I really am. I needed to leave to figure myself out, I was afraid of my feelings…” he kept talking on Kenma's ear.

“It felt awful, Kuro. You kept saying we would come here together, but I _knew_ you were planning to leave. I was your best friend, how could you hide it from me? I had to hear it from your mom, when she asked me if I was already planning on places to go when I visited you in London. That wasn't _fair_ , Kuro,” he broke down crying. Kenma's hands went down to hug his waist and Kuroo held him tighter, like he was afraid Kenma would change his mind and run away.

“Fuck,” he mumbled. They were just playing with a cat, how did it turn into this? He knew they needed to have this talk, though. “I don't know how to even start telling you how sorry I really am. I don't deserve to have you back in my life after cutting you out like that. But I'm selfish, Kitten, and I can't give you up. Can I be selfish?” Kuroo practically begged.

Kenma nodded wordlessly and kept sobbing for a while, never letting go of their embrace. He felt the cat nudge his leg, but neither of them were paying any attention to anything else but each other.

They stayed like that for a while, Kuroo’s shirt getting wetter by the minute, until Kenma lightened his grip on Kuroo. "Did you figure it out? Whatever it was?" He asked timidly, looking up at him.

Kuroo gulped. “I did…” he mumbled, wiping away a tear from Kenma’s face with his thumb.

He could feel both of their hearts pounding and they stared at each other for what felt forever, still wrapped in a loose embrace. There was _something_ in Kenma’s eyes, and it pulled him in like a bug towards the light. He kept a hand on Kenma’s cheek, caressing it with soft touches. Kenma bit down his lip but didn’t look away, a soft blush growing on his face.

Kuroo’s eyes dropped down to his lips, and when he looked up again, he found Kenma had done the same. He wanted to lean in and kiss him so _bad_ , but was terrified. He couldn’t be reading wrong into this, right? Kenma tugged at the fabric on the back of his shirt and if that wasn’t a sign then _damn_ , but he was gonna go for it.

He didn’t, though, because when he finally started leaning in, after years of dreaming of it, the door opened with a slam and Bokuto’s loud voice could be heard from the entrance.


	5. Where We Left Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something shifted in their friendship, and they're back to what they were before he messed up.  
> Kuroo has to leave again, but everything's different this time. He won't let this second chance go to waste.

They both jumped, startled at Bokuto’s screech. Why did he have to _screech_? Couldn’t he just gasp like a normal person? Kuroo felt like strangling him, but Kenma twitching at his side stopped him. He reluctantly let him go, immediately missing his warmth. Even with his messy hair covering his face, Kuroo could still see he was impossibly red. He wondered what would have happened if their friends hadn’t walked in on them, and mentally groaned.

“Tetsu, my bro, I love you, but if you made Kenma cry again I’m gonna have to kick your ass,” Bokuto said, crossing his arms against his chest. Akaashi was standing beside him, tugging his sleeve.

“Yeah, well, I kinda hate you right now, Bo, so…” Kuro trailed off, eyeing Kenma, who was standing up from the couch.

“It’s ok, Koutarou. We’re ok.” Kenma said, picking up the cat again to stop him from jumping to the floor. “I’m gonna go change because _someone_ didn’t warn me I’d have guests early,” he announced, pointedly looking at Akaashi and avoiding Kuroo’s gaze, before walking to his bedroom.

“I apologize, Kuroo-san. I tried to stop him, but you know how he is.” Akaashi lifted up a hand to Bokuto’s mouth, keeping him from complaining. "I did text Kenma to warn him we'd be earlier than expected, though. Guess I should've known he'd be distracted with you around," he shrugged, turning to Bokuto with raised eyebrows. Bokuto nodded and Akaashi finally removed his hand from his boyfriend's face.

Kuroo would have laughed at their silent conversation if he wasn't so pissed at them, and worried about Kenma. He had managed to make him cry again, on his birthday of all days. Maybe he didn't deserve him, if all he did was hurt him. But Kenma hadn't stopped him from leaning in. Did he _want_ Kuroo to kiss him?

A knock on the door brought him back to reality. Akaashi went to get it and returned soon after, followed by Hinata and Kageyama. Wait, _are they holding hands_? Kuroo bit down a sigh, wondering why everyone else's love life was better than his own. Maybe they didn't make their love interest feel like shit all the time.

"When did _that_ happen?" Kuroo asked, pointing between them. Both dorks started mumbling nonsense, red faced. Luckily for them, Kenma had just returned to the living room, having changed into joggers and a loose hoodie. A cat's head popped out from its front pocket, meowing.

"Happy birthday!!" Hinata yelled, bouncing up to Kenma, an arm in the air, the other dragging a resigned Kageyama behind him. He jumped to hug Kenma, almost making them both fall onto the ground, completely unaware of the weirdness of minutes before they arrived. Kageyama awkwardly mumbled some greeting, trying to regain his balance.

"Thanks, guys," Kenma smiled at his friends, hugging Hinata back with a single arm. "Please try not to kill my cat," he added. The animal meowed, as in agreement to the request.

✧

The air seemed to have cleared, Kenma acting normal as if nothing had happened, but Kuroo still felt like crap. He waited until everyone was too distracted stuffing their faces with food, and followed Kenma into the kitchen when he got up to check on his pet.

"Hey, Kitten," he greeted from the doorway, trying not to startle him.

"You might have to choose a new nickname now," Kenma replied, kneeling on the floor and pointing at the kitten playing with the strings from his hoodie.

Kuroo smiled. "Nope, you're always gonna be the only kitten for me." He might've just won the most cheesy comment of the year award, but he didn't care. Not when Kenma wasn't rejecting his advances.

Kenma snorted and Kuroo died a little bit. "When did you become such a sap?" He mocked him, but still Kuroo didn't care. Kenma was smiling at him. "I'm sorry about earlier, I didn't mean to bring up all that."

Kuroo frowned at that. He was the one supposed to apologize, not the other way around. "Don't worry about it. I'm sorry too, for everything." He knelt next to him. "Are we really ok?" His voice came out as a whisper, scared.

“Yeah, we are. I still think you’re dumb, though,” Kenma replied and nudged his shoulder, making him fall sideways to the floor.

They were both laughing, the tiny cat climbing all over Kuroo, when someone cleared their throat by the kitchen's doorway. Bokuto was standing there, a nervous pout on his face.

"Is there something wrong, Bo?" Asked Kuroo worriedly, slowly getting up to his feet and offering Kenma a hand to do the same.

"No…" He replied, unsure, fingers fidgeting in front of him.

"We're not mad at you, Koutarou," Kenma assured him, still holding Kuroo's hand after standing up.

Bokuto brightened up at that, his usual smile returning. "Alright, then! I'm gonna go back out there so you can make out, sorry!" He proudly announced, wiggling his eyebrows, and ran away before the ramen cup Kuroo threw his way hit his face.

"You're sleeping on the couch tonight if you don't start behaving, Bokuto-san," they heard Akaashi's voice come from the other room, followed by a loud whine.

✧

Something _shifted_ between them after Kenma's birthday. Nothing else happened that night, but the casual touches were back. Hands lingering on each other's shoulder after a friendly greeting, Kenma resting his head on Kuroo's shoulder on movie night, Kuroo spreading his legs over Kenma's lap to read work papers while the other played his newest game.

It somehow felt like it did in his last year of high school, but this time he really did believe he might just have a chance to ask for more. Kenma had nodded when he asked if he could be selfish, after all. Kuroo hoped he knew exactly what he'd meant by that, being too afraid to ask. But wasn't being afraid to ask what broke them apart last time?

A week had passed since that night. Kuroo was cleaning up his station before leaving the lab, when his boss called him over. What he thought would be their usual status report, turned out to be a request to travel to London for two weeks. They needed someone familiar with the research Kuroo had done while studying there, and his English was good enough. It didn't really sound like a request, though, and Kuroo understood what would happen if he said no.

He panicked. There he was again, in love with his best friend, not knowing how to tell him he was leaving. It was only two weeks, and he wasn't really running away now, but what if it ruined their chances again? How would Kenma handle it? He knew about his anxiety and how bad it had gotten back then, and although he was doing much better now… It was only two weeks but it suddenly felt like two decades.

Keeping secrets had messed everything up last time, so he decided to just tell him right away. He rushed to Arcadia after work, not even bothering to go home and shower, still smelling of fumes from the lab.

Kenma was already talking with someone else when Kuroo got there, which wasn’t all that weird since he had to, you know, work, selling games to other people. Something seemed off, though, since Kenma wasn’t wearing his usual ‘ _I couldn’t care less whether you buy this game or not_ ’ face, looking uncomfortable instead. A quick glance at Hinata’s nervous face when he saw him enter the store confirmed Kuroo’s thoughts, so he approached the duo.

“Hey, Kenma,” he waved, eyeing the tall, black-haired stranger.

Kenma whipped his head around, surprised to see him there early. "Hi, Kuroo," he replied, his frown receding but still there.

The other guy stared at Kuroo for a minute before turning back to Kenma. "Think about it, Koz, you know where to find me," he said before offering a two-finger salute and a wink. He smirked at Kuroo when he passed him, a wide smirk on his face. Kuroo hated him instantly. Did he too look like a jerk when smirking? Or was it just this guy?

"Who was that prat?" Kuroo asked, head tilting towards the store entrance.

"No one," was Kenma's dry reply. He didn't look like a no one to Kuroo, but he decided to let it go for now seeing how tense the boy looked. "What happened to you? You look like crap. And you smell." Kenma scrunched his nose, changing the subject. Definitely not a no one.

"Gee, Kitten, why you gotta hurt me like that?" He mocked offense, smirking first, but letting it grow into a full grin, remembering the jerk from before. Kenma's shoulders visibly relaxed and he let out a breath. "I came here straight from the lab, 'cause I needed to talk to you about something," he explained, Kuroo's expression suddenly turning into a pained one. The strange guy had gotten him distracted of why he was there in the first place.

Kenma looked at him for a bit, studying his face. "You're leaving again," he stated, not even needing to ask. Kuroo was stunned. He could see the disappointment in his eyes. How did he _know_? He hadn't told anyone yet. Kenma seemed to read the unsaid question on his face. "You had the same face when you told me you were moving to London," he explained.

"It's only for two weeks," he rushed to say, before Kenma misunderstood. "They're short of staff and I was the only one with the experience that could cover for them in such short notice," he explained.

Kenma hummed. "You promise to come back?" Why did he have to make it sound like a plea? When had Kuroo became so unreliable?

"Nothing could ever stop me from coming back, as long as you want me here," he promised, taking one step closer.

"Ugh, you're such a sap," Kenma groaned and pushed him away, but the smile he was hiding behind the back of his hand let Kuroo know he was pleased by his answer.

✧

Even though he wasn't happy with it, Kenma was understanding of the situation. Bokuto drove them to the airport and gave them some space to say their goodbyes after giving his best bro a warm hug.

"Have a nice trip, Kuro," Kenma said, a shy smile slightly curving the corner his lips. He looked like he wanted to say something else though, and Kuroo was starting to worry.

“Thanks, Kitten,” he forced another smile in reply. “See you in two weeks,” he added and moved to leave, but then a tug on the back of his jacket stopped him.

He turned to find Kenma biting on his bottom lip, looking at his feet. Kuroo’s smile grew wider, and real this time. He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around Kenma, whose arms immediately moved to hug Kuroo’s waist.

“You better come back,” Kenma mumbled against his chest, tightening his grip.

“I’ll be here before you know it,” Kuroo replied, burying his nose in Kenma’s hair. An ‘ _I love you_ ’ almost slipped through his lips.

✧

Being back in London felt weird. While he loved the city, it brought him back too many memories of every time something had reminded him of Kenma and he couldn’t text him about it. But he could, now. Kenma never left a message on read for more than a few minutes without letting him know he was busy or away.

So he kept spamming him with pictures of everything remotely cool he found, wishing Kenma was there with him to visit all of these places. Maybe he’d bring him there, someday. He also sent tons of selfies because, well, he was at least remotely cool, and was surprised to find Kenma would reply to every single one with his own, usually with one of their friends doing something stupid in the background, but others just him and Zelda, the kitten Kuroo had given him. Those were his favorites, specially one he’d taken right before texting him good night. It showed Kenma from the shoulders up, lying on his side, head resting on a pillow with a few blond strands of hair framing his sleepy face. He was timidly smiling at the camera and it warmed Kuroo’s heart every time he saw it. He set it as his phone background, wondering if someday he’d get to wake up to that angelic vision again.

They Skyped everyday, late at night when Kuroo was already in bed bed and Kenma was getting ready to leave for his morning classes. It somewhat felt like they were having a second chance at what they could’ve had years ago if he had been more open about his feelings. It sucked knowing he had lost so much time, to think that maybe they could have been together through the distance if he hadn’t run away like the coward he was.

He wouldn’t let this chance go to waste. Hinata had already said it, he wouldn’t get a third. He didn't _deserve_ a third chance if he hurt Kenma again.

✧

Two weeks went by, both faster and slower than he expected. Slower because even though they texted multiple times a day he still missed having Kenma close. Faster because he'd made a decision: he was going to tell him how he felt, and he was terrified of how that would go.

While he knew Kenma cared about him, and he not only didn't seem to be bothered by his physical closeness, but he _reached_ for it himself, a voice in the back of his mind kept telling him that Kenma only saw him as a really close friend, and that they would never be more than that. Another voice, a voice that kept getting louder every time they talked, told him that both their feelings have been made obvious ever since Kenma's birthday. Maybe even earlier than that, he thought on days when he was feeling really positive about his chances.

Kuroo arrived at Tokyo the day before his birthday. Kenma was waiting for him at the airport, Akaashi standing next to him. He managed to resist the urge to run to them, he couldn't afford to look uncool now.

"Welcome home, Kuro," said Kenma, and took a step closer, waiting for his hug.

Kuroo smiled his brighter smile, and affectionately enveloped him in his arms, nuzzling his cheek against the top of Kenma's head. They stood like that for a while, until Akaashi got bored of awkwardly third-wheeling and fake coughed.

"Sorry 'Kaashi, thanks for driving all this way," he said, letting go of Kenma only to throw an arm around his shoulders, the other arm around Akaashi's. He was even more grateful when, an hour later, Akaashi sent him a picture he’d taken when he and Kenma hugged. He now had a new favorite picture.

✧

Akaashi dropped him at the lab, where he had to report on the results from the trip. They'd made plans to meet later at a bar, so Kuroo went home after meeting his boss to recover from the long flight and get ready.

He put on a pair of ripped jeans that fitted him just _right_ , and a dark red button-up shirt, the first few buttons undone, and went on his way.

"Bro!" Bokuto was the first one to notice him when he arrived, running to wrap him into a bone crushing hug.

"Hey Bo, thanks for checking up on Kenma while I was gone," he said. Lately Akaashi had been spending most of his nights at Bokuto, but during the two weeks Kuroo was away, they'd switched to staying at Kenma's and Akaashi's instead.

"No worries! He's a great kid!" Bokuto replied, beaming at his friend, as if Kenma wasn't only a year younger than him and way more mature.

Bokuto motioned them to their table and Kuroo immediately bee-lined towards Kenma, who was looking _fine_. All he could see from their seated position was a regular black V-neck and a plaid open shirt, which wasn't really out of the usual for him, but it was _Kenma_ and therefore he looked _fine_. His hair was tied in a low ponytail, a few loose strands behind his ears and was he wearing _eyeliner_? Kuroo was so far gone it was a wonder his lungs kept working.

It was good being back. He'd grown close to Kenma's friends, and had missed being around them, even if they usually reminded him of how very single he still was. He hoped that would change sooner than later.

After a few rounds of beer, Kenma had gotten up to get water at the bar, and Kuroo watched him leave. Yep, he also looked fine while standing. Kuroo tried to blame the beers on how much he was losing his mind over Kenma but he wasn't even drunk yet. And he wouldn't be, because he couldn't appropriately declare his love for the other if he was.

By the time he got out of his train of thoughts, he realized the object of his affections wasn't back there yet. He looked up just in time to see some guy playing with a loose strand of Kenma's hair and _what the fuck_? "Is that the same guy from the shop?" He asked, pointing his head in that direction.

He saw Hinata and Akaashi exchange a weird glance, which only made him feel worse. Kenma was saying something to the smirking jerk, who looked too pleased with himself. Why wasn't Kenma coming back to the table? Why was he letting him touch his hair? Had he been reading too much into all of his interactions, and Kenma didn't feel the same way Kuroo did?

"I _know_ you know who that is. Would you cut the crap and tell me already?" He asked, looking back to his friends just for a second before focusing back on Kenma, who had now stood up from the stool he'd been sitting on, but still not walking back to them. To him.

"He's… uhm," Hinata talked first. Or tried to. "I don't remember his name, he and Kenma uhm… they dated for a while when you were in London," he explained.

"What?" Kuroo felt his world crumbling down. He'd only been gone for two weeks. How had he moved on so fast? Hadn't he trusted him when he said he'd be back?

"It's not what you think, Kuroo-san," Akaashi stepped in. "They dated when you were there the first time, not now. They broke up almost two years ago, and even then it was never a serious relationship," he added.

While that sounded better than what he first thought, he still felt a sting at the thought of Kenma being in a relationship with someone else.

"Now that I've met you, I don't think he was more than a replacement for someone else. I mean, look at him, tall, black messy hair, handsome even with that stupid smirk. Doesn't he remind you of anyone?" Akaashi raised both his eyebrows, Hinata nodding in agreement by his side.

Kuroo wanted to punch someone's face. Ideally a handsome smirking face. "That doesn't explain why he's here, though," he frowned.

"I guess he came looking for Kenma, he knew we sometimes hang out here. He's been trying to get back together with him for the past month." Akaashi said. "And before you ask, Kenma has no intention of doing so. He already asked him more than once to give up, the guy just can’t take no for an answer."

Kuroo's brain understood the logic behind Akaashi's words, but his heart didn't. He couldn't stay there anymore, watching Kenma and his ex. Why was he so pissed? It’s not like he’d never been with anyone during all those years away, and even knowing about Hinata didn’t bother him _that_ much anymore. But this jerk was right there, openly hitting on Kenma.

He got up, muttering some excuse that none of his friends bought but accepted anyway, and making a point of not looking at Kenma’s direction. He thought he heard him call his name, but didn’t bother to stop and check if it was real or just wishful thinking. Once outside, he considered calling a cab, but in the end decided to just walk home, not caring about the sudden pouring rain. After four years in London, no amount of water could bother him. He should have learned his lesson to take an umbrella everywhere with him just in case, though.

Someone called his name and he didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. He did, though, and there was Kenma, walking fast towards him. “Why did you leave?” He asked, as if he didn’t know the answer.

“You seemed pretty busy,” Kuroo replied, dry tone in his voice, putting his hands in his pockets feigning indifference.

Kenma sighed, frowning. “Kuro…,” he started, taking a step closer.

“Whatever,” Kuroo shrugged. “If you were just trying to make jealous then congrats, you succeeded. But you could have done so sooner, you know.” He tried to stop talking, to close his mouth and stop saying stuff that could only bring them closer to another fight, but he just couldn’t. “Why did you lie last time and said he was no one?” He kept saying, Kenma trying to talk over him in order to stop him, but failing.

“I didn’t…” Kenma lifted a hand to his own hair, sighing again in frustration like he couldn’t find the words to what he wanted to say. Kuroo opened his mouth to speak again, but he was stopped in his tracks.

“Why can’t you just shut up?” Kenma mumbled, face red, before grabbing the collar of his shirt and yanking him down. Their lips crashed before Kuroo could even understand what was going on, and his mind went blank. Kenma was _kissing_ him, and Kuroo couldn’t even react. He froze, and by the time he realized he wasn’t kissing him back, Kenma was pulling away.

“He _is_ no one, Kuro. _Everyone_ is no one compared to you. There’s no one else for me,” he shook his head as if to emphasize his point. “It’s always been you,” he added, his voice barely audible over the sound of the rain, looking up to him. His hair was a mess, sticking onto his skin from the rain, lips trembling from the cold.

Kuroo found himself rendered speechless. He lifted a hand to cup Kenma’s cheek, tilting his chin up, and kissed him. He felt Kenma melt into the kiss, and his heart was beating so fast it was a wonder it hadn’t jumped out of his chest yet. Kenma softly placed his free hand on Kuroo’s neck, making his skin burn. Kuroo mimicked the movement, bringing him closer and deepening the kiss. Their lips moved in synch, parting for each other, letting their tongues meet for the first time and it was better than he could have ever imagined.

Kissing Kenma felt as natural as breathing, as if they had done this a million times already, but with all the emotion of getting to do something after _years_ of only dreaming of it. Neither of them cared about the cold water falling on them, all they could think about was each other's lips, heartbeats going crazy. Kuroo tilted his head, pouring all of his feelings into their kiss, hoping they would reach Kenma. He felt him smile against his lips, and he knew that all those years of waiting and everything they’d been through had been worth it if it had brought them to this moment.

 


	6. Lost And Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally bumped up the rating. I hope it's not too awkward, first time writing a make-out session. Let me know if you want me to add a note as to where it begins and ends in case you'd rather avoid that part!

He looked at Kenma, who still hadn’t let go of his collar. Their eyes met and Kenma’s warm smile erased any doubt he could have had of Kenma’s feelings towards him. Kuroo pressed his forehead against Kenma’s, and closed his eyes, smiling like he never had before. They were both shivering. From the cold of the rain or the warmth of their first kiss, he wasn’t sure. Maybe both.

"If you're done being a drama queen, can we maybe get out of the rain?" Kenma stopped him before he could lean in once more.

"Aw, romance really is dead, isn't it?" Kuroo pouted, biting down a smirk.

"Only a sap like you would find dying from pneumonia romantic," Kenma rolled his eyes, but the low light of the street was enough to show his growing blush as he reached for his hand and dragged him back inside.

✧

Their previous table had been claimed by another group, so they got comfortable on the couches surrounding a smaller one in a corner.

Kenma was still holding his hand, and while this wasn't the first time he'd done so, it somehow felt more intimate now. Kuroo parted his knees, leaving enough space between them so Kenma could seat, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him down, Kenma's back against his chest. He rested his chin on Kenma's shoulder, who kept checking up his phone every few minutes.

"Everything ok, Kitten?" He asked, nuzzling Kenma's cheek with his nose.

"Yeah, I was just checking the time," Kenma replied, leaning into the touch.

"You tired? I can walk you home if you want to leave," He wasn't really ready yet to say goodbye, but didn't want him to feel forced to stay. Kenma had never been a fan of bars and places with lots of people and they both were still somewhat wet from the rain before.

Kenma shook his head, forcing some loose strands of blond hair to fall forward and hide his face. "Not yet," he mumbled. Why did he suddenly look embarrassed?

He let it go, knowing Kenma sometimes just needed some quiet time during their hangouts. He focused on Bokuto's retelling of his latest game, where some scouts from the national team had been watching. He’d had to take almost a year off volleyball in order to recover from an injury, and coming back to play for a pro team hadn’t been easy afterwards but lately he’d been doing better than ever. They were all hopeful for his dream to become the national’s team ace.

A few minutes later Kenma looked down to his phone again, and poked Hinata’s arm, who promptly nodded. “I want another drink, let’s go!” the short boy said, getting up and dragging Kageyama towards the bar. Being Hinata’s boyfriend must be exhausting, Kuroo thought, smiling to himself. Maybe he could ask Kenma about it, he realized, and that thought didn’t make it smile as much. He knew that was water under the bridge, but still, even if it was in the past, the idea of someone else kissing Kenma, touching Kenma, or even...

Not a minute later, a visibly drunk Bokuto thankfully cut his train thoughts also getting up, forcing Akaashi to his feet. “Keiji! Let’s dance!” He asked, voice louder than necessary. He was always loud, but alcohol made him even worse.

“No need to yell, Koutarou, I’m right here,” his boyfriend replied, sounding more displeased than he probably was, tugging him to the dancefloor after politely waving at Kuroo and Kenma, knowing smile on his face. Well, that wasn’t suspicious at all. Why did they all seem to know something he didn’t?

He felt Kenma wriggling between his arms and he reluctantly let him go, but he only shifted a little so he could comfortably look at Kuroo. He placed his phone on the table and Kuroo threw a glance at it. It was just displaying the time, 00:00. _Oh_.

"Happy birthday, Kuro," Kenma said, placing a soft kiss on his cheek, and a dopey grin grew on Kuroo's face. So that’s what that was all about? Kenma just wanted to be the first to wish him a happy birthday? Why did Kuroo keep second guessing Kenma’s feelings when he kept doing the sweetest things for him? He really needed to get his shit together if he didn’t want to mess up again due to misunderstandings.

Kuroo leaned down, their faces now so close their noses were almost touching. "May I?" He asked in a whisper. Kenma licked his lips and Kuroo mimicked him without even realizing it.

"You don't have to ask," Kenma replied before closing the distance between them, looping an arm around Kuroo’s neck to lift himself up for better reach, his other hand flat on Kuroo's chest.

Their first kiss had been on a whim, Kenma trying to shut him up and Kuroo too stunned to react and kiss him back. Their second kiss was better, perfect if you asked either of them, but still with the lingering worry that the other might later regret the impulse. This third kiss, though, was everything. There was no doubt anymore, they didn't need words to explain what they meant to each other because their actions were doing it for them. It warmed every last inch of his body, his whole being tingling as if he’d never been kissed before. And it kinda was true, no other kiss before Kenma had been like this, because none of those other kisses had been shared with someone he loved.

Kuroo pulled him up to his lap, hands lowered to Kenma's waist, a thumb timidly brushing skin under his shirt. Kenma's tongue was all over his, exploring his mouth and driving him crazy with want. He tasted like the overly sweet drink he'd had earlier, and suddenly that was all Kuroo would ever want to taste. His grip on his waist got tighter, like he was afraid the other would disappear into thin air. Kenma hummed into the kiss and the vibration against his lips sent a shiver through Kuroo's spine, making him wonder how far Kenma would let him go if they weren't surrounded by people. Not that it really mattered, though. He'd been dreaming of kissing him for years, there really wasn't any rush to push for more.

They had to break for air eventually, both panting with swollen lips. Their eyes were locked on each other's, silently communicating all of their emotions.

"I got you something," Kenma said shyly, as if his tongue hadn't just been down Kuroo's throat. He moved his hand from Kuroo's neck to his own, absently rubbing it, and directed his gaze somewhere else.

"You already gave me exactly what I needed," Kuroo replied, kissing him again, but Kenma cut it short, gently but firmly pushing him away.

"I still want to give this to you," he insisted, taking a folded envelope from his shirt pocket and offering it to Kuroo, who took it curiously.

He opened it and his mouth went wide with surprise. Inside were two plane tickets to London. He was shocked into silence, not knowing what to say. He looked up at Kenma, then back at the tickets. How did this boy always manage to surprise him? How did he know _exactly_ what he’d been thinking during his flight back home?

Kenma fidgeted in his place. "I know you just got back from there, but I didn't know about your work trip when I bought them… they're dated for three months from now," he started saying, shoulders slightly hunching.

"Kenma," Kuroo interrupted him, but stayed silent, not being able to articulate anything else. How could he make Kenma understand that he had nothing to be getting shy about?

“You keep beating yourself up over what happened, but I should have fought too instead of giving up. I should have visited you, talked to you. I want to make up for the time we lost, for everything we missed. I want to know about your life over there, and to tell you about mine," he explained, fixing his gaze to his knees.

Kenma’s words warmed his heart, that was everything he wanted and more. "Fuck Kenma, this is too expensive, though." He wasn’t sure he deserved such a gift.

“What else would I spend my money on?” Kenma asked, a frown growing on his face. Kuroo knew that look: there was nothing he could say that could change his mind.

“I don't know… Video games? Apple pie? Rent?” Kuroo listed, not knowing why he was so adamant about Kenma taking his gift back.

“I work at a game store, I get them on discount. I can count on you to buy me apple pie. Akaashi would just adopt me if I couldn’t afford rent,” he retorted, shrugging.

Kuroo laughed through his nose and sighed in defeat. He didn’t doubt at all that Akaashi and Bokuto would take Kenma under their owl wings if it came to that. “Are you sure?” He lifted a hand to cup Kenma’s cheek, forcing him to look up.

“I am,” Kenma nodded. “Please, Kuro. This is as much for you as it is for me. I want to do this.” Kuroo had never seen him so sure of anything before, and denying him didn’t seem like an option anymore.

“Kenma Kozume, you’re the most thoughtful human being I know.” Kuroo smiled and placed a kiss on his temple. “Do you know you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me?” He asked, kissing then the top of his head.

"Of course I am, who else would put up with your lame ass?" Kenma flicked his nose, pretending to be unfazed by his words. Kuroo knew better than to believe that.

He laughed his awful hyena laugh and Kenma groaned. "I'd love to go there together. There are so many places I want to show you, you're gonna love it," Kuroo promised, affectionately bumping Kenma’s forehead with his.

Not even 20 minutes had passed and this was already his best birthday ever. He must have been really good in his past life to deserve such a wonderful boy by his side.

“Hey, Kitten?” He asked, carefully pocketing his gift so it wouldn’t get ruined. Those weren’t the actual tickets, just a printout of the reservation confirmation, but still meant enough to him to treasure them for the rest of his life.

“Hm?” Kenma was distractedly staring at the dancefloor, where Akaashi was trying to control a too drunk and overly affectionate Bokuto. Kuroo kinda felt sorry for Akaashi, sometimes. He was glad his boyfriend was a much more reasonable person. _Wait_.

“Be my boyfriend,” Kuroo demanded, returning his attention to Kenma, who just stared at him, stunned, for a minute. Kuroo felt his heart beating in his throat, waiting for an answer. They _did_ just kiss multiple times, and Kenma had somewhat confessed, but what if he didn’t want to be anything more than what they were?

Kenma blinked, seemingly getting out of his thoughts. “Where’s my cheesy proposal? I’m disappointed in you, Kuro,” he mocked, his lips quirking on a smirk and Kuroo wanted nothing more than to kiss it off his face.

“Ohh, a proposal already? Aren’t we getting ahead of ourselves?” Kuroo laughed, although he already knew in his heart that one day he _would_ marry his childhood friend.

“Shut up,” Kenma said, embarrassed, and stopped him from leaning in for another kiss, pushing his face away with his hand. Kuroo licked his palm, earning him a groan from Kenma. “Ugh, you’re disgusting,” he protested and cleaned his hand on Kuroo’s shirt, who groaned back before laughing again.

✧

Hinata and Kageyama had gotten back to their table bringing with them a last round of birthday drinks. They were talking about his gift when Kenma excused himself to the toilet. It was then that Kuroo realized he’d never answered his question.

“I’m glad you guys finally got together,” Hinata beamed, lifting his glass. “He’s been pining over you ever since I met him, it was about time you stopped being a moron.” Something about that resounded on Kuroo’s mind. Kenma had said he and Hinata’s relationship didn’t work out because they were both trying to get over someone else. If Kenma had really been thinking about him this whole time, did that mean he’d been the one he was trying to get over with but failed? He gulped, thinking of all the time they’d lost.

“That being said…” Hinata’s happy expression almost immediately transformed into a serious one, the same he’d shown when he warned him about not having a third chance. “If you hurt him again, Kageyama will beat you up.” Kuroo opened his mouth to say he wouldn’t dare of it, when he was interrupted.

“Oi, dumbass! Why do I have to do your dirty work?” Kageyama protested, nudging his shoulder.

“There’s no way I could beat Kuroo, Bakageyama, do you want me to die?" Hinata defended himself and nudged him back. Kuroo was still too stunned by the threat to laugh at their bickering.

“Stop threatening my boyfriend,” a voice spoke behind them, his owner sitting back on Kuroo’s lap. Kuroo beamed at Kenma, his _boyfriend_.

✧

Moments later, Bokuto had finally found his way back to their table, a flustered Akaashi trailing behind him. “Kenma, I’m taking Koutarou to our place, I don’t think he’ll make it to his apartment in this state,” he announced, pointing at his boyfriend who was talking nonsense with Hinata. “Do you want to come with us?”

Kenma scrunched his nose and glanced at Kuroo.

“You’re always welcome to stay at my place if you want, Kitten,” he asked, unsure if that was what Kenma was silently asking. He did want to take him back home, but was afraid of coming across as too forward.

Kenma nodded. “I’d rather not hear Bokuto have drunk sex,” he said as an explanation.

Bokuto squawked in response, looking at Akaashi like he was expecting him to defend his honor. He didn’t, shrugging instead. “You are quite loud, Koutarou,” he agreed, as if anyone was actually expecting any confirmation.

“Too much information, guys,” complained Kuroo, not wanting to hear Bokuto’s reply to that.

“Let’s go, Koutarou,” Akaashi said, reaching for Bokuto’s hand and waving them goodbye.

“I wasn’t implying anything, and we won’t do anything you don’t want to, I just… you know, my place is closer, and you said you didn’t want to hear them...” Kuroo babbled, a nervous mess. He’d never been shy about taking someone home after a night at the bar, why was he now? Was it because it actually meant something to him, this time?

“Kuro,” Kenma shut him up, unfazed by the whole situation. “Let’s go.”

✧

They went to Kuroo’s apartment and before he knew it, he was pinning Kenma against his door, a hand tangled in blond hair, the other roaming up and down his side over the fabric of his clothes. It was taking all of his willpower not to press his body against him, to push for _more_. Kenma didn't seem to care much for auto control, though, yanking on his belt loops and bringing him closer, bodies flush against each other. Kuroo was burning.

Kenma broke off the kiss, reaching hands to Kuroo’s chest and pushing him past the genkan, until the back of Kuroo’s knees bumped into his couch. He fell down with a plop, Kenma seizing the moment to straddle his legs, knees on each side of his hips. He was hovering him, taller in this position, and he looked so incredibly _hot_ Kuroo thought he might die of a heart attack.

They kissed again and there was no hesitation, only hunger. Kuroo tilted his head and lifted a hand again to Kenma’s hair, tangling his fingers on soft blond strands, resisting the urge to pull. The other hand traveled Kenma’s side, exploring, resting at the small of his back, bringing him closer and closer. Kenma’s hands rested on Kuroo’s broad shoulders, and he slowly lowered himself down onto Kuroo’s lap, sending shivers down his spine at the contact.

“Wait, _fuck_ , Kenma,” he broke off the kiss, his brain forgetting how to work.

“What?” He asked, panting, lips wet and swollen, leaning down for another kiss, to which Kuroo eagerly complied.

“This is too fast. Is this too fast?” Kuroo asked between kisses, suddenly remembering his previous worry, but not making any motion to slow down at all. “I don’t want to rush you into anything,” as much as he wanted more, he was willing to wait and follow any pace Kenma could set.

“Kuro, I've been waiting for _years_ , isn't that enough?” He asked, sounding almost irritated, leaving Kuroo no time for replying before their lips crashed again.

Kuroo gave up and let himself get lost into the kiss. He’d been dreaming about this for years, too, and it was finally happening, and it felt better than anything he could have had imagined. His tongue traced the corner of Kenma’s mouth, and then his bottom lip, asking for entrance, and it was granted and it felt so _good_. He pulled ever so slightly Kenma’s hair, forcing him to tilt his head to deepen the kiss, and he felt rather than heard him moan into his mouth, provoking one of his own.

It was crazy to think that Kenma wanted him as much as Kuroo wanted him, and yet there he was, devouring his mouth, hands clinging to his shirt as if his life depended on it. Kuroo’s free hand started roaming south, but stopped right up the waistband of Kenma’s jeans. He _knew_ Kenma wanted this, but he was so scared of pushing too far, of going too fast.

A tentative roll of Kenma’s hips, as if giving him permission to keep going lower, was enough to send his mind overdrive. Kuroo gasped for air, and Kenma was now attacking his neck, kissing all the way up to his earlobe. Of all the times he’d thought of touching Kenma, of _being_ with Kenma, he’d always imagined he would be as shy and quiet as he was at everything else. Never in his wildest dreams he thought Kenma would be so proactive, so _intense_. It was blowing out his mind and he wasn’t sure how much longer he’d be able to restrain himself.

“Shit, _fuck_ , Kitten,” Kuroo groaned. “I need to tell you something,” he said between breaths, panting. “I can’t keep going until I say it,” he added, both hands gripping Kenma’s hips to keep him from grinding down again.

“What now?” Kenma demanded, out of breath, eyes scanning his face, trying and failing to understand what his problem was. He leaned back in, but was stopped before he could reach Kuroo’s lips.

“I love you,” Kuroo whispered against his mouth. “I love you, Kenma,” he repeated, louder this time, looking up to meet his gaze.

Kenma let out a breathless laugh. “ _Fuck_ , Kuro, you’re such a sap,” he replied, dropping his head against his shoulder. “I love you too, Tetsurou, I’ve always had,” he added with a hoarse voice, locking golden eyes on hazel ones, and Kuroo felt his heart grow inside his chest, warmer than it had ever been.

They kissed again, slowly at first and steadily building back up in heat. Kenma shrugged off his shirt and Kuroo immediately followed up by clumsily helping him pull his undershirt over his head. He’d seen Kenma shirtless before, and while it had always provoked _something_ in him, this was so much more. He didn’t look as boyish as he did years ago, his muscles more defined now. Kuroo’s mouth went dry at the sight in front of him.

“You’re staring,” Kenma scoffed, face all red up to his ears, turning his head to the side, an arm up as to try and cover his chest.

“You’re beautiful, Kitten,” Kuroo whispered in adoration, forcing him to look back at him, and grabbing Kenma’s arm to place its hand against his own chest, right over his frantically beating heart. He was met with a soft smile that seemed out of place in the middle of their make out session, yet made everything even more perfect.

Kenma’s hands went back to the sides of his neck, slowly descending to unbutton Kuroo’s shirt to finally get rid of it. He leaned in and the skin-on-skin contact from their chests flushed together made his skin burn with desire. Kuroo bit down Kenma’s bottom lip, a hand lightly tugging his hair and the other slowly going down, following the line of his back muscles, his spine, and down to cup his ass. He broke off the kiss, moving his mouth to Kenma’s neck, teeth grazing skin, up to nip at his earlobe and Kenma purred. He _purred_ and Kuroo was losing his mind, his pants feeling too tight.

His hips bucked up involuntarily and Kenma placed his hands flat on Kuroo's chest, feeling the outline of his muscles. He went down, fingers tracing his abs, down, _down_ , until he was fumbling with Kuroo's belt and he reached to do the same but Kenma stopped him, suddenly standing up. Why was he pulling away now, of all times? Had he finally gone too far?

He didn't have time to ask, because Kenma was tugging Kuroo's pants and he lifted himself up enough from the couch to let him take them off for good. Kenma placed a hand on each of Kuroo's knees, gently forcing him to spread them apart and oh, that's when he finally understood what was going on. Kenma kneeled down between his legs, a determined glint in his eyes when he looked at Kuroo's for a second before looking down at the growing tent on his boxers.

By the time the best night of his life ended, they had moved to the bed and Kuroo had discovered quite a few things. Kenma actually _liked_ having his hair pulled, his earlobes and collarbone were overly sensitive and he was turned on by Kuroo's dirty talk, driving Kuroo even more crazy with desire in return. He now had a new favorite sound: Kenma moaning his name as he came. The sight of Kenma's face coming undone, a panting mess under him, was something he could never forget, even if he tried. And _oh_ , why would he ever try when a wrecked Kenma, knowing he’d been the one to make him look that way, had been enough to drive him over the edge.

✧

Kuroo woke up with a weird feeling in his chest. He hadn't been that drunk last night, only slightly buzzed, so he couldn't blame his doubt on a non existent hangover. Had last night really happened? Or had it been just another dream, like the hundred others he'd had of Kenma before? But it had been so real, so perfect. Was he imagining the warm weight over his chest? He was scared of opening his eyes only to find and empty bed, so he stood still for a while longer, until a soft snore gave him the push he needed.

Kenma was still asleep, a blond mess covering most of his face. Kuroo reached to move his hair behind his ear, his hand lingering on Kenma’s cheek. He traced the soft line of his jaw, barely touching him.

Kenma stirred. He opened his eyes, but didn’t say anything. He only crept closer. “Kuro…” he mumbled, fixing his gaze on Kuroo’s. He licked his lips. Oh, didn't this bring back memories. It had been almost five years already since the last morning they woke up together, when Kuroo announced he was leaving. Last time they'd been sleeping on opposite sides of the bed. Now Kuroo was lying on his back, Kenma resting his head on his chest, wrapped between his arms, legs tangled with each other's. And they were _naked_. He felt so stupid, knowing how much time he had wasted. Five years of kissing Kenma, of holding him, of waking up together. All those years trying to run away, to move on, to replace him with random people. As if anyone could ever even compare to his childhood friend. His best friend. His _boyfriend_.

"Kuro, I can hear you thinking from here," Kenma said, dragging him back to reality. "It's too early to think," he declared, voice raspy from sleep.

Kuroo smiled and placed a chaste kiss on the other's lips. "I was just thinking how lucky I am that now I get to do this," another short kiss. "And how dumb I was back then. I wish I could have been waking up next to you all these years," he sighed. At least he’d still have the rest of his life to make up for it, if Kenma would have him.

"It's too early to be a sap," Kenma protested and closed his eyes again, trying to go back to sleep, but hugged him tighter.

"But you love me," Kuroo smirked even though the other couldn’t see him, caressing his cheek with soft touches and moving hair away from his face.

Kenma sighed and smiled at him, eyes still closed. "But I love you", he agreed.


	7. No More Wasted Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo takes care of a sick Kenma, and learns to trust him and his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some domestic fluff and much needed discussions between two dumb boys and an orange-haired third wheel.
> 
> This work is part of a series, now! Finally posted the first chapter of KageHina's side of the story. I know I said there wouldn't be angst, but it turned out worse than this story. It will have a happy ending, though, for what's it worth;;  
> You don't need to read a story to understand the rest, but it does offer some light into Hinata's mental state, so this chapter might make more sense.
> 
> Come yell at me @ [Tumblr](https://allmycharactersaregay.tumblr.com/)

As Kenma had predicted, their pneumonia inducing first kiss had gotten him sick. Not really pneumonia, though, just an ugly cold, but enough to have him bed ridden for the third day in a row.

"I hate you so much," was his greeting when Kuroo let himself in into Kenma's apartment. He was curled on his side under a mountain of blankets on the couch, Zelda purring over his waist, paper tissues thrown around everywhere. His hair tied in a messy bun, he was wearing his comfiest cat patterned pajamas.

"Oh, I guess I'll eat this apple pie by myself then. I don't share with people who don't love me," he replied, leaving a small bakery box on the table, and kneeling on the floor to drop some treats at Zelda's dish. The cat immediately jumped down to the floor, happily meowing and bouncing towards Kuroo.

"I'm surrounded by traitors," Kenma huffed, eyeing his pet bumping his head against Kuroo's hands so more treats would fall. Kuroo laughed and scratched behind its ears before moving to the kitchen to put away the groceries he brought with him. He’d been coming every afternoon for the past few days to make dinner for Kenma, while Akaashi stayed at Bokuto’s. He wondered why those two hadn’t moved in together yet, given the amount of time they spent at each other’s place. Probably as to not leave Kenma without a roommate, he assumed. He should have been Kenma’s roommate, if he hadn’t ran away. Maybe some time in the close future he would be, he hoped.

Once everything was in its right place, Kuroo went back to the living room and sat by the table to open the bakery box, serving himself a portion. "Hm, this tastes so good, and it's still warm," he made a show of tasting the pie, pointedly not looking at Kenma. He knew he was being stared at. Kenma twitched in his place, but did no move to get up. "If only you loved me... You have no idea what you're missing out, this must be Suga’s masterpiece," he took another bite and hummed again in exaggerated satisfaction.

"Kuro…" Kenma whined, making grabby hands at him from under his blanket fort. Kuroo had to stifle a laugh, it wasn’t fair that his boyfriend was so damn cute.

"What is it, Kitten?" he played dumb, serving the second and last portion of pie onto a plate. Kenma frowned at him, stubborn. "Oh, you want this?" He asked, getting up and approaching the couch, plate in hand. Kenma nodded, adorable pout on his face. Kuroo smirked and held the plate over him, high enough that Kenma couldn't reach it from his position.

"Ugh," he groaned, voice rough from spending most of the day coughing his lungs out. Kuroo's smirk only grew wider. "I don't really hate you," he admitted, as if anyone could have ever believed he did.

Kuroo lowered the plate a bit, but still out of reach. "What else?" He insisted.

"I love you," he said against the back of his hand, falling to hide his embarrassment. His cheeks were red, but they had been flushed for the past three days as well due to his sickness.

"See, was is that hard?" Kuroo asked, finally letting Kenma get his treat, and gently pushing him to the side so there was enough space for the both of them to sit.

"You're the one who made it hard," Kenma mumbled between bites.

"Well…" Kuroo started and saw from the corner of his eye that Kenma was grabbing his tissues box. "You made _other_ parts hard for me," he continued anyway, wiggling his eyebrows and ducking just in time to dodge the object being thrown his way.

“You’re lucky I like this more than I hate you,” Kenma deadpanned. Kuroo gasped dramatically, clutching his chest, taking the now empty plate from Kenma and dumping it in the sink to wash later.

Kuroo sat back on the couch next to Kenma. “C’mere,” he patted his thighs and opened his arms for Kenma, who immediately crawled over his lap, dragging his blankets with him. While there wasn’t much of a height difference between them as years ago, and he wasn’t as small, it still was a comfortable position for both of them.

“How’s your fever?” Kuroo asked, tucking some loose hair strands behind Kenma’s ear, and reached to lovingly kiss his forehead. It was still somewhat warm, but not as much as earlier. “Want a compress?” He offered, lowering the volume of his voice as to not bother Kenma, who was already pressing against his chest, sleepy.

“Just hug me,” he requested, resting his head on Kuroo’s shoulder, face in the crook of his neck. Kuroo squeezed him tight, lifting up the blankets to make sure he was warm. “Thanks for the pie,” he mumbled against his skin, getting more comfortable. “I really do love you,” he finally added before falling asleep, and Kuroo fell in love with him all over again.

✧

Right after getting over his cold, Kenma had found himself busy with a class assignment for the past week, one of the last before he finally graduated. He'd taken the week off from work and had only been meeting Kuroo for dinner, claiming he was too distracting to work with him around. Kuroo complained, arguing that he was perfectly capable of behaving and letting him work in peace, but both knew that wasn't true.

So when Friday afternoon finally arrived and with it the end of Kenma's busy schedule, Kuroo picked up some takeout and messaged him to let him know he was on his way. Kenma didn't reply, but Kuroo didn't think much of it. He figured Kenma had passed out on the couch after overworking himself. They were past ignoring each other by then, thankfully.

He hurried to his boyfriend's home, letting himself in with the copy of the key he'd been given days before when taken care of a sick Kenma. He took his shoes off on the genkan, only to find there were two other pairs lined up. One belonged to Kenma, but he wasn't sure about the other. It might be Akaashi's, he thought, but it was weird of him to not be at Bokuto's on a Friday night. He was glad he'd gotten some extra food, just in case.

Kuroo went past the hallway into the living room, and the sight in front of him was far from what he expected. Kenma was sitting on his knees on the couch, and there was someone sitting next to him, wrapped between his arms, face hidden against his chest. A mop of orange hair was enough to know who Kenma was hugging: his ex-boyfriend.

Kuroo swallowed and stood there, just watching the scene, unsure of what to think. His first instinct had been to get mad, jealousy overcoming him, but just by thinking about it he realized it was stupid. Kenma had proven to him over and over again how much he cared for him, and Kuroo trusted him with his life. After his last fit of jealousy, he had been trying hard to get better at controlling those feelings.

The other two didn't seem to have noticed him. Kenma was saying something in Hinata's ear, fingers threading through his hair. Something seemed off, he'd never seen the ginger so quiet. He was about to open his mouth to make his presence known, when he heard a sob, and Kenma was instantly tightening his grip on Hinata.

Kuroo felt out of place, like he had nothing to do being there. He was about to turn away and go wait in Kenma's room, as to give them some privacy, when his boyfriend suddenly realized he was there. Kenma's eyes went wide with surprise when they made eye contact, and the hand that was on Hinata's hair went still. The other seemed to realize something was wrong, because he straightened up his back and pulled away from Kenma.

"Oh, hey Kuroo, I didn't see you there!" He forced a smile, trying to sound as bright as usual. He didn't fool anyone, not with tear streaks all over his face. Kenma kept silent by his side, eyeing the both of them, as if he wasn't sure what to expect. "This wasn't…" Hinata started saying, choking on a sob. "It's not what you think. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be bothering Kenma, I'll just go," he said, almost without pausing for air, rubbing his face with the sleeves of his hoodie and moving up to leave.

Kenma lifted up a hand and opened his mouth, but it wasn't him who stopped him.

"Don't worry about it, Chibi-chan, I brought enough food for all of us," Kuroo rushed to say, placing a hand on Hinata's shoulder, gently coaxing him to remain seated. "I hope you like mackerel," he added.

"Are you sure? I know Kenma's been looking forward to tonight," Hinata said, looking confused.

Kuroo threw a glance at his boyfriend and raised an eyebrow at him, who only rolled his eyes, before looking back at Hinata. "I'm sure, you're not leaving here until you're feeling better," he assured him, a lopsided grin on his face.

Hinata looked at Kenma, and after a silent conversation between them, he finally nodded. "Okay. Thanks Kuroo," his smile was more genuine this time, although still sad.

"Don't mention it," he said, ruffling Hinata's hair. "I'll warm up the food, you two get comfortable," he went straight to the kitchen without waiting for a reply.

He was setting up the plates on the counter when he felt someone getting closer and hugging him from behind. He smiled, turning around as to face his boyfriend. "Hey, Kitten," he greeted, voice low, his hands going to Kenma's hips on instinct.

"Sorry about that…" Kenma started. "He got into a fight with Tobio and I couldn't just leave him alone," he explained, his arms wrapping around Kuroo's neck.

"It's alright, I know I haven't been the most understanding in the past, but I get you're his best friend and he needs you right now," Kuroo said, trying to make his words not sound as rehearsed as they were. He did mean them, although a tiny part of him still couldn’t help feeling bothered.

Kenma seemed surprised by his words, but didn't comment on it. Kuroo couldn't help but feel guilty about it. He really needed to step up if his boyfriend was surprised by him actually being nice. "Thank you, I'll make it up to you later," Kenma promised, reaching up to give him a chaste kiss.

"Do I need to kick Kageyama's ass?" He asked, remembering Hinata's threat some days ago.

Kenma let out a breath and shook his head. "No, he's dumb, but his heart is in the right place. He's just worried and doesn't know how to express it, or how to help Shouyou on bad days," he explained. Kuroo knew that Hinata had been struggling with depression for most of his life, Kenma had told him that much, a fact that still astounded him when he thought of the bright and happy attitude the ginger usually showed. He'd never seen him on a bad day before, all he knew was that it wasn't quite the same as Bokuto's moods.

"I'll talk to Tobio tomorrow," Kenma announced. Hinata clearly meant a lot to him if he was willing to go out of his way to talk to someone. "I was thinking…" he lowered his voice, sounding nervous all of a sudden.

"What is it, Kitten?" Kuroo prompted, rubbing his boyfriend's back.

"Do you mind if Shouyou sleeps here tonight? I know it's not what we planned, but…" he looked down.

"It's ok, we have the rest of our lives to catch up on that front," he teased shamelessly, earning him an embarrassed groan from Kenma. Kuroo loved how he acted all shy, but when they were actually intimate it was like a switch was flipped on him. Just thinking about it turned him on, and he had to let go of their hug before he changed his mind. Between Kenma being sick and then exhausted from class work, they hadn't gone all the way ever since that first night, and after wondering for years how it would be and having his expectations pleasantly blown away, he was more than looking forward for some alone time. "You better go back, before he starts wondering what we're doing over his dinner," he reluctantly unwrapped his arms from around Kenma, gently pushing him towards the kitchen door.

“His mind isn’t rotten like yours,” Kenma mumbled, rushing with small, fast, steps to get enough distance from Kuroo before he could smack his ass on the way out of the kitchen.

Kuroo had to stop himself from pondering how true that was. Hinata’s sex drive wasn’t something he really wanted to think about, not when it had included Kenma at some point in the past. He swallowed down a sigh, and followed Kenma back to the living room, bringing three dinner plates with him. Once the food was distributed, he sat next to Kenma, their knees touching, and got comfortable to start their impromptu movie night.

At some point halfway through the movie, their now empty plates had been discarded to a side, and Kenma had repositioned himself over his boyfriend's lap, who in an instant was squeezing him tightly. Hinata had gotten closer, too, now lying on his side, the top of his head touching the outside of Kuroo's thigh, and Kenma was absently running his fingers through ginger hair. Kuroo couldn't find the strength to be bothered about it, seeing how Hinata was still sniffling every few minutes. Although he didn't know him that much, he liked to think they were friends now, or something close to that, at least, and he'd rather see his smile than his tears. Hinata was the one that has pushed Kenma to listen to him, after all.

"You kids want some ice cream?" Kuroo asked, as if they weren't all pretty much the same age. Kenma shrugged, but he could see Hinata perk up from the corner of his eye.

"We're out of ice cream, Kuro, you and Bokuto ate it all. You both complained about the stomach ache for hours," Kenma observed, and Hinata deflated again, next to him.

"Well, that’s what money was invented for," Kuroo explained matter-of-factly. Kenma rolled his eyes in response, and got up so Kuroo could do the same. "I'll be right back," the oldest of the trio announced, kissing Kenma's forehead.

"You know delivery is a thing that exists, right?" Kenma inquired, sitting back on the couch.

"It's more meaningful if I go get it myself, Kitten, why can't you just let me be nice?" Kuroo insisted, and put on his jacket, eyeing Hinata who had stayed silent the whole time.

Kenma followed his gaze and sighed. "Wait," he spoke, and stood up yet again, approaching Kuroo who was still looking for his keys and turned to him, expectantly. "I want mochi," Kenma demanded, before placing a chaste kiss on his lips.

Kuroo replied in kind, smiling into the kiss. It didn't last long, but he loved these casual kisses as much as he loved their heated, more passionate ones. He was still amazed by the fact that Kenma would initiate intimate contact between them, and cherished any loving gesture he had towards him.

Kuroo looked Hinata’s way after they parted, and their eyes met. He wondered how awkward the ginger felt, seeing his ex kiss his new boyfriend. A new found guilt settled on the back of his mind. While Hinata had been the one to push them together, maybe it hadn’t been as easy for him as it seemed, even if by then he was already interested in someone else. But even though he still seemed sad, he was looking at them with a soft smile in his face. Maybe he truly was happy for them, and Kuroo shouldn’t feel so bad about the whole situation. He’d still ask him later about it, just in case.

✧

One would think getting ice cream on a Friday night would be easier, but it took him almost an hour to get back to the apartment. Kenma and Hinata were playing Smash Bros, and to Kuroo’s eyes that was enough progress, even if the air was still gloomy. Hinata said it had been the only way to keep Kenma awake enough time to wait until his boyfriend got back, and Kuroo thanked him, grinning, and approached them to regain his spot on the couch. Hinata immediately moved to give him space between them, but as it turned out, there was no need to because as soon as Kuroo sat, Kenma was getting comfortable in his lap again. He really was like a kitten.

An hour into the movie, Kuroo could feel Kenma’s weight getting heavier against his chest, a clear sign that he was falling asleep. He pushed his boyfriend’s hair away to press a soft kiss on the nape of his neck, and nuzzled his cheek with his nose. “Kitten, why don’t you head to bed? I’ll follow you in a minute,” he suggested, releasing him from his hold.

Kenma reluctantly stood up, as if he had expected Kuroo to carry him to bed, and was about to head to his bedroom when a thought stopped him halfway there. He looked at Hinata, and then back again at Kuroo, a silent question in his eyes.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure he’s comfortable before I join you,” Kuroo promised, and that was enough to convince him, as he mumbled a ‘good night’ before leaving.

Kuroo was about to say something to Hinata, when his phone buzzed. He took the device out of his pocket, to find Akaashi was texting him.

 **The Owl Master [00:36]:** Kenma told me Hinata-kun is spending the night there.  
**The Owl Master [00:37]:** Make sure he doesn’t sleep on the couch, he can use my bed.

Kuroo smiled at his friend’s request. He’d slept a few naps on that couch while Kenma worked, and it hadn’t been comfortable at all. He tilted his phone towards Hinata, who smiled sheepishly after reading the texts, and borrowed it to text a quick reply in thanks.

“Are you feeling any better now?” Kuroo asked, voice low, unsure if it was his place to ask.

Hinata looked up at him, surprised by the question.”Yeah, I just…” He started, running his fingers through his hair. “It was one of those days when nothing comes out right and you just keep pushing everyone you love away, and then you realize you might have pushed too hard this time,” he sighed, glancing down to his knees and oh, didn’t Kuroo relate to that.

“Well, I know a thing or two about pushing people away,” Kuroo paused, waiting for Hinata to shut him up for prying into his business. He didn’t. “If I learned anything, I’d say there’s really no point to it. If they love you back, you’ll only end up hurting them, and yourself, and whatever you wanted to avoid by pulling away will be even worse.”

Hinata bit his lip in thought, eyebrows furrowed. “I get what you mean, but it’s not the same… I’m a mess, he deserves someone who can make him happy no matter what, not some weirdo that will get all sad and negative out of nowhere,” he retorted, sounding defeated.

Kuroo laughed through his nose. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a mess too. And so is Kenma. That doesn’t mean we don’t want to be together, if anything, we complete each other. He makes me better, makes me want to _be_ better, and I think I help him too,” he observed. “And, really, have you met Kageyama? He’s no more normal than any of us, he’s the most awkward guy I’d ever met. But he’s a nice guy, and if someone has any right to decide what he deserves and what he doesn’t, I’d say it’s him, not you. If he chose you, then you should trust his judgement.” Was he overstepping? Probably. But he couldn’t let Hinata make the same mistake he spent five years trying to fix.

Hinata stayed silent, mulling over his words with a worried expression on his face. After a while, they both got up, but before Kuroo could wave him goodbye, assuming the conversation was over, Hinata stopped him.

“Kenma was right, you know?” Hinata said out of the blue.

“Huh?” Was Kuroo’s eloquent reply.

“You really are good at comforting others,” Hinata said, the corners of his mouth rising up to a shy smile. “I wasn’t sure about you when you first came back, and I worried pushing Kenma to give you a chance could lead him to more pain, but you’re good for him. You make him want to be better, too.”

Kuroo found himself stunned, his body not able to turn his thoughts into sounds. Hinata didn’t wait for him to reply, though, and waved at him before hurrying towards Akaashi’s room. Kuroo’s legs felt like jelly when he finally went to join Kenma, somewhat emotional from Hinata’s words.

“That took longer than a minute,” Kenma protested as soon as Kuroo stepped into the room. He was playing something on his phone. Was he trying to stay awake for him, after complaining all week about how tired he was and how much he wanted to sleep?

“Sorry, Kitten, I got distracted talking to Hinata. He went to bed already, Akaashi ordered him to stay in his room,” he explained while removing his shirt, and changing his pants for more comfortable shorts. Kenma stared at him the whole time while he undressed, making Kuroo feel warmer by the second. He crawled under the blankets, Kenma instantly moving closer to him.

“Thanks for being cool about Shouyou,” he said, placing an arm across Kuroo’s chest, and resting his head over it, locking their eyes. “I know it must be awkward for you, but there’s nothing more than friendship between us. What happened in the past, is staying in the past.”

Kuroo tried to feel comforted by his words, but he actually felt guilty by the fact that Kenma had needed to explain himself, and even thanked him for not being a dick. “It’s ok, really,” he mumbled, trying to find his words. “I’m sorry I haven’t been more level-headed before, being jealous about Hinata and that other guy…” He mentally cringed at remembering how he’d acted at the bar. It had gotten him what he wanted the most, but he wished he hadn’t made an ass of himself before that. Kenma opened his mouth to reply, but Kuroo spoke first. “It’s just… It was hard, knowing you had found others, thinking you had moved on when I never could...” he trailed off.

“I never did, though," Kenma interrupted. "I never stopped thinking about you. Shouyou knew that, Atsumu knew that. That’s why none of those relationships worked. Neither of them were you,” he confessed, looking down at Kuroo's shoulder, ears red.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to come back to you," Kuroo reached a hand to Kenma's cheek, trying to get him to look up.

"Stop apologizing already, I thought we were gonna make up on lost time," Kenma shut him up, shifting on the bed so he was now lying right on top of Kuroo.

Kuroo's mouth grew into a lopsided grin. "Oya? I thought we were waiting until Chibi-chan leaves?" He teased, raising an eyebrow.

Kenma rolled his eyes. How many times had he done that today already? "We don't have to, if you can manage to keep your mouth shut," he huffed, unimpressed.

He was about to reply something about keeping his mouth _busy_ , but Kenma was kissing him before he had time to do so. Kuroo hummed into the kiss, a hand nestling fingers in blond hair, his other hand gripping a slim waist. His tongue darted out, licking at Kenma's lower lip, and he had to repress a moan when Kenma bit back before opening his mouth to grant him entrance.

Kenma's hands were trailing down his chest, feeling the firm muscles under his fingers, and Kuroo used the distraction to roll sideways, taking Kenma with him and pinning him to the bed. They pulled away for breath, hazy eyes and hearts beating faster.

Kuroo went down again, tracing the line of Kenma's jaw with his tongue, and then his neck, biting every few licks just to hear Kenma's sounds again. He knew there would be bruises there tomorrow, but he couldn't stop himself, he _wanted_ to mark Kenma as his and only his, even if no one else was going to see it. From the way Kenma kept moaning softly and rolling hips against his, he didn't seem to mind much at all. Kuroo mimicked the movement and they both groaned at the friction. So much for being quiet.

 

If Hinata heard anything, he didn't mention it. He looked and sounded better the following morning, and was actually looking forward to talking to Kageyama after Kuroo's words last night. He hugged and thanked them both several times, Kenma moving to hide behind Kuroo after the third time.

"Thanks, Kuroo, I owe you one," he finally said after calming down, putting on his shoes on the genkan.

Kuroo from a month ago would have said they were even, since he had helped him with Kenma first, but the current Kuroo knew better than that. "Anytime, Sho. That's what friends are for." The smile that crossed Hinata's face was blinding, and it was the first time that Kuroo saw it actually reach his eyes.

After Hinata left, Kenma interlaced their fingers and pulled him down for a kiss. "Bokuto knows nothing. _You_ are the best," he whispered against his lips and dragged him back towards his bedroom.


	8. When I'm Next To You I'm Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Kuro, I thought we were going on vacations,” Kenma complained when he saw the itinerary his boyfriend had sketched for their trip to London. It was full of stuff, from where and what to eat, to tourist attractions, and a lot of seemingly random places he’d never heard about before. He doubted they would have time to breathe.
> 
> “We are! That’s why we have to make the most of it. Who knows when we’ll be able to go back again?” Kuroo replied, failing to understand Kenma’s point. He was too damn excited about the upcoming weeks to consider his boyfriend’s aversion to moving. Who cared if they couldn’t feel their feet anymore by the time the day ended.
> 
> Kenma bit his tongue, staring at him for a minute. He looked like he wanted to keep complaining, but Kuroo was too busy rearranging dates on his trip planner app, the dorkiest grin on his face. “You better take me to the Harry Potter studios,” he said instead, opting not to burst the other’s bubble of happiness.
> 
> ✧ ✧ ✧
> 
> Kuroo has an awkward encounter with Kenma's parents, but it soon gets forgotten when it's finally time for their trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let’s pretend we don’t care about how an academic year actually works and this makes sense.
> 
> Also, can you see how much I want to go back to London??

Two months went by and Kenma was about to graduate with a Software Engineering degree, planning to get into the videogame industry. Kuroo had been counting down the days, in part because that meant they would finally get more time together, without exams and final projects getting in their way. But mostly because the next day after the graduation ceremony, they would get on a plane to London. _Together_.

It was still crazy to think that they would be going over there as a couple. While he loved the city, thinking about it still brought him back sad memories because of how much he had longed for Kenma while they were apart. And now he was being given the chance to replace those memories with new ones, and he couldn’t be happier. He spent the two weeks prior to the trip carefully planning where to take him to make sure they both enjoyed their time. He wanted Kenma to like the place as much as he did, and not think about it as something painful from their past.

“Kuro, I thought we were going on vacations,” Kenma complained when he saw the itinerary his boyfriend had sketched. It was full of stuff, from where and what to eat, to tourist attractions, and a lot of seemingly random places he’d never heard about before. He doubted they would have time to breathe.

“We are! That’s why we have to make the most of it. Who knows when we’ll be able to go back again?” Kuroo replied, failing to understand his point. He was too damn excited about the upcoming weeks to consider his boyfriend’s aversion to moving. Who cared if they couldn’t feel their feet anymore by the time the day ended.

Kenma bit his tongue, staring at him for a minute. He looked like he wanted to keep complaining, but Kuroo was too busy rearranging dates on his trip planner app, the dorkiest grin on his face. “You better take me to the Harry Potter studios,” he said instead, opting not to burst the other’s bubble of happiness.

“Kenma, please,” Kuroo looked at him, a serious frown on his face now, as if he was offended by his request. “What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t? I already saved a full day for it,” the grin was back on his face, even wider now. He switched to his email app on his phone, and pointed the screen towards Kenma, showing him the tour booking confirmation.

✧

The day of Kenma’s graduation ceremony had finally arrived, and Kuroo found himself freaking out about something he hadn’t even considered yet, even though they’d been dating for three months already. He hadn’t seen Kenma’s parents in years, since the last Christmas he came to Japan, and he wasn’t sure if they knew about the nature of their relationship. Kuroo had told his parents the very next day after his birthday, because apparently his mother could hear the smile on his face over the phone, and had immediately guessed correctly that it had been caused by Kenma. He felt like he’d never regained full hearing of his right ear after the happy screams the woman had made in celebration. It warmed his heart to know how much his parents loved Kenma, and how much they supported their new boyfriends status. He could only hope it would be the same way with Kenma’s parents.

“Why aren’t you dressed yet?” Kenma asked, stepping into the bedroom, hairdryer in hand. “We’re supposed to be there in an hour,” he informed him, plugging the device and starting to brush his still wet hair.

“Do your parents know about us?” Kuroo asked, not moving an inch to get ready for the day. There were more important things to worry about, like his sanity. What if they hated him after all he had done? What if they didn’t want them to be together?

Kenma stood still for a minute, directing his attention at a random point on the wall. “I told them last month when I stopped by to visit. My father said, and I quote: ‘What do you mean you started dating? Haven’t you been dating since high school?’” Kenma shrugged before powering on the hairdryer, covering the sound of any reply Kuroo could have given.

Kuroo just stared at him. While he was glad to hear Kenma’s dad not only was ok with them dating, but had always thought they were a couple as if it was the most natural thing, something felt off. Did they not know anything about the time when he was gone? About their distance? About Hinata? He had a feeling Kenma was keeping something from him. "Kitten? What did your mom say?" Kenma looked at him from the corner of his eyes, quickly diverting his gaze anywhere else. "Kenma, what are you not telling me?" Kuroo got up from the bed and walked to his boyfriend, lifting a hand to his chin and gently coaxing him to look up.

Kenma sighed and Kuroo could feel his heart sinking already. He knew then he wouldn’t like his answer. "She's not thrilled about it," he mumbled, voice barely audible, and bit his lip, nervously.

Kuroo gulped. "Is it… is it because we're both boys?" He was sure that wasn't the reason, but it was better than his other option. When Kenma didn't reply, he knew his worries were well founded. "Is it because it's _me_?" He asked, heart in his throat, already knowing what was coming.

Kenma took a deep breath, as if preparing himself for what he was about to say, and then let out a long sigh. "She was the one who had to pick up the pieces the day you left," he explained, and Kuroo had to swallow down a sob. He would never forget Kenma’s face when he saw him through the window, that morning on his way to the airport. "Just give her time and she'll understand it won't happen again."

"She thinks I'm gonna leave you again?" Kuroo frowned. He deserved her distrust, but it still hurt to know she thought so lowly of him. He had been close to Kenma’s parents in the past, she was like an aunt to him, and to lose her confidence… Maybe he should have gone sooner to talk to them. Another regret to add to his ever increasing list.

"I know you won't, Kuro. And I trust you. Isn't that enough?" Kenma's tone was firm, eyebrows slightly furrowed. "Even if she can’t see that, I'm old enough to make my own choices. It was my choice to give you another chance," he asserted, placing a palm on Kuroo’s chest. “To give _us_ another chance,” he corrected himself.

A reluctant smile grew on Kuroo’s face. "I know that, Kitten. But I still want her to be happy about us," he insisted, looping an arm around his boyfriend's waist to pull him closer.

"She will be. She's willing to listen to you, at least," Kenma assured him, hugging him and talking against his chest. The warm body wrapped between his arms made Kuroo feel better, but he was now more scared than earlier.

✧

The graduation ceremony finished too fast for Kuroo’s taste, dreading the moment where they were to meet with the Kozume family. Kenma looked like he was about to pass out from his nerves when they approached them, but both of his parents seemed calm. They politely greeted all of his son’s friends, even Kuroo, and his mom even hugged Hinata with a warm smile on her face. Kuroo figured she knew about their past relationship, and couldn’t stop himself from wondering if she was sad they had broken up. Probably. Who wouldn’t love such a kind, friendly and loving boy as a son-in-law? It was definitely better than a sarcastic jerk that had broken his best friend’s heart.

As expected, Kenma was quick to read the thoughts on his mind, and soon was intertwining their fingers and giving his hand a reaffirming squeeze. ‘ _I’m here with you_ ,’ Kuroo knew he meant. He tried to offer a smile in thanks, but his face felt rigid from the anxiety taking over his mind.

Kenma’s mom had been nothing but kind to him since they met after the ceremony, but he knew something wasn’t right. She probably didn’t want to make a scene in front of all of their friends, and Kuroo was suddenly grateful they were so clingy. But they couldn’t stay there forever, and eventually they drifted away.

Kuroo, Kenma and the latter’s parents were walking towards their car, Kenma’s dad distractedly chatting about something no one was listening to, when his mom slowed down to a stop. They all mimicked her, but no one said a word. Kuroo held his breath, and the grip on his boyfriend’s hand grew tighter.

The woman walked a few steps to stand right in front of him, and without a word, loudly slapped his cheek. “You have no idea how much you hurt this boy,” she hissed, before anyone could even react.

Kenma’s eyes were wide with surprise and horror at his mother’s actions. “Mom, please, stop,” he let go of his boyfriend’s hand to reach his own towards her.

She barely glimpsed at her son, shaking his hand off, before glaring daggers at Kuroo again. “He swears that it’s different now, that you talked and explained whatever was going to that brain of yours,” she started, pointing a finger against his chest. “But I promise you, Tetsurou, if you break his heart again…” she jabbed her finger at him once more.

Kuroo stood silent, waiting for her to finish, but he didn’t say anything else. “I’d rather die than hurt him again. I love your son, and I-” he started, but was interrupted before he could finish his thought.

"Loving him didn't stop you from leaving him behind the first time, did it?" She cut him off, her voice going lower now, but it somehow hurt even more than her previous angrier tone. So he really had been so obvious about his feelings that even Kenma’s parents had realized.

"There's not a single day I don't regret my actions,” he increased the volume of his own voice, hoping she wouldn’t talk over him again. “And I’m doing everything in my power to make up for that. Whatever Kenma wants me to do, needs me to do, I’ll do it." He swore, pain and conviction written all over his face.

"That's not enough," she barked back, and Kenma tried to intervene before things got out of hand, but someone else beat him to it.

"Dear," Kenma's father spoke for the first time since the argument started, and placed a hand on her shoulder. They all looked at him, astonished. "I think he knows," he simply said, eyeing Kuroo. “He knows even better than you what he did, because he also suffered because of it,” he continued, gently guiding her to turn around, and grabbed her hands to stop her from attacking the older boy again. “Shouldn’t we trust our son’s judgement?” he calmly finished, offering a warm smile Kenma’s way.

His wife huffed, not happy about the intervention, and looked at her son’s pleading face before turning back to Kuroo. “You better treat him right, this time,” she demanded, and walked away to climb on their car without giving him a chance to reply.

✧

To say dinner with Kenma’s parents was awkward would be putting it lightly, but at least no one fought and they all kept a tense but polite conversation. They avoided all touchy subjects, basically everything regarding the last five years, and focused instead on the upcoming trip.

By the time they parted ways, the air seemed to be lighter. Kenma’s mother had stopped glaring at Kuroo, and even asked him to take care of her son overseas, without death threats involved. Kuroo promised he would guard him with his life, and an embarrassed Kenma reminded them both he was already 22 years old and could take care of himself, thank you very much. Everyone but Kenma laughed, and it suddenly took Kuroo back to lazy Sunday breakfast at the Kozume’s kitchen. He smiled fondly at the memory, hoping they would someday get that back.

After dinner they got together again with their friends for movie night. Kenma had tried to cancel it, but the rest insisted they had to celebrate before they left for two weeks. He lost the vote by a landslide, so there they were, almost fighting for space on Akaashi’s battered couch. Kageyama and Kuroo were sitting on opposite ends, each cuddling their boyfriends on their laps, Akaashi sitting in between them, and Bokuto sprawled over all five of them, because who cares about personal space.

The day had started on a stressful note and got worse during the afternoon, but now Kuroo was overwhelmed by happiness, smiling at his friends antics. They had all gone through so much, but looking back at the start of the years, things had been a thousand times better than he could have expected. The three couples had gotten closer than ever, and he knew they would always be there for each other, no matter what.

✧

They left for London the day after. Kenma, with his usual laidback attitude, was happily playing Animal Crossing until his Switch ran out of battery, and fell asleep immediately afterwards. He had grown too tall to fit comfortably curled over his seat like he used to, so he opted to stretch his legs as much as he could, and rested his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. Kuroo, on the other hand, was a bundle of nerves and keep fidgeting in his seat, earning him a glare from the passenger sitting to his left. Ever since Kenma got him the tickets, he had been overly excited about their trip, but now he was second guessing every single choice he had made for their stay. What if Kenma hated London? What if it was too boring, or too overwhelming, or too whatever Kenma would dislike?

He felt almost stupid for being concerned about it. He _knew_ Kenma would enjoy whatever they did, because he just wanted to get to know Kuroo’s life as a Londoner. But his paranoid self couldn’t help but worry about the most useless things. Like, what if Kenma thought the hot dogs from that little food truck in Covent Garden were disgusting? Kuroo loved them!

Luckily the plane landed before his thoughts consumed him, and he gently guided a groggy Kenma out of the airport to the train station and from there to the AirBnB he had rented over Paddington. The apartment was small, like most available hostings were, but they didn’t plan to be inside for too long, mostly to sleep and catch up on _each other_.

It was around 6PM when they got to the main city, so after dropping their stuff at the apartment Kuroo went to the closest Tesco, a local market, to get some quick dinner to go. It had been his salvation while he lived there, when his classes got too intense and he had no time to prepare himself proper food. He rushed back to his boyfriend, who was waiting for him definitely not snoring in bed. He poked his shoulder, holding the warm food right in front of Kenma’s noise. “You can go to sleep once you get some food in your stomach,” he promised, nudging him to a side so they could both get under the blankets.

They ate in bed, while watching local trash TV and talking about what they would do the next day. Per Kenma’s request, the first day would be focused on wandering around Kuroo’s old neighborhood, Kingston, and visiting his old University’s campus. Kuroo hadn’t planned much for that day to give themselves some time to recover from jet lag.

Kenma fell asleep not long after eating, nestling his head on the crook of his boyfriend’s neck. Kuroo laid on his back, distractedly watching TV and running his hand through Kenma’s hair, feeling the other’s hot breath against his skin. He was too happy to fall asleep, a part of him still refusing to believe that this was really happening. He was back in the city that had been his home for four years, but his bed wasn’t cold and empty this time. The love of his life was sleeping next to him.

✧

The next two weeks felt too short. Kuroo was relieved to see Kenma was having a good time, and he was loving the city, just like he had hoped. A part of him felt sad about the fact that he should have brought him over years ago, but he pushed the thought to the back of his mind to focus on the present. Wallowing in past memories over and over again wouldn’t help either of them.

They went everywhere, from museums (Kuroo’s favorite was the National History Museum, but Kenma liked the Victoria and Albert Museum better, since it was currently hosting a video games history exhibition), walked from Hyde Park all the way to the Tower of London, stayed at the Harry Potter studios from opening to closing time, and even kissed at the top of the London Eye at sunset. Kenma had protested his cheesiness in front of so many people, his face flushed red, but Kuroo felt the happiest dork alive.

Kenma never complained about how much Kuroo was making him walk, and he seemed genuinely interested on every single thing he showed him, always asking questions and taking pictures of everything he deemed relevant. Most of them happened to be the same things Kuroo had wanted to send him pictures of in the past. _Happy thoughts_ , he forced himself to remember.

They took a gazillion of pictures together, too, and Kuroo decided he’d print them all as soon as they got back home, to have them at his reach. Anytime he wanted to look at them again. He didn’t _need_ them, though. He would never forget what had been the best two weeks of his life, his happiness only second to the day he and Kenma finally got together.

The best part of the trip was that Kenma kept suggesting things they could do or places they could visit next time. _Next time_. Kenma Kozume, who avoided leaving his house as if it would kill him, was already planning on coming back with him. Kuroo’s cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling so much.

✧

It was their last night in London, and they were both exhausted from all the wandering around town. They had spent the last two hours in bed, commenting over a weird British comedy show they were watching on TV. Kenma laughed at something his boyfriend said, and Kuroo felt like time had stopped. That wasn’t the first time he’d heard him laugh, but _something_ made it different. Maybe it was the constant giddiness he had felt during the last couple of weeks, but he felt his heart pounding inside his chest, overwhelmed by his feelings.

“I love you,” he said, almost whispering, and Kenma stopped laughing to look at him with surprise, not for his words but for his seemingly out of nowhere declaration.

“I love you too, Kuro,” he replied, a frown forming on his face. Kuroo had to swallow down a snort. Leave it to Kenma to worry about a love confession.

“No,” Kuroo started and he could almost see the gears in his boyfriend’s brain start to overwork. “I mean, yes, but like… I’m _in love_ with you, Kenma,” he said, his hand moving to tuck a strand of blond hair behind his ear and then to cup his cheek.

Kenma’s face relaxed, letting a warm smile grow instead of the nervous frown. He rolled to his side, so he was now facing Kuroo, and reached for the other’s free hand, intertwining their fingers.

“When I think about how I left, I get so mad at myself,” he started talking, placing his thumb over Kenma’s lips to stop him from interrupting him. “I don’t know how I thought it would fix anything, getting over you… My feelings never changed, Kitten, all those years there was this hole in my chest that no one, nothing else could fill,” he sighed. “It pisses me off to think how I lost five years of this, of us...” His voice nearly caught in his throat.

“Kuro, don’t -” Kenma tried to speak, but was cut short.

“I know. I know you asked me to stop apologizing, but I need to get this off my chest,” he asked. _Begged_ , almost.

Kenma closed his mouth, biting his bottom lip, and Kuroo’s thumb softly brushed against it to stop him.

“I love you so much, Kitten,” he repeated for the nth-time. “I don’t know if I’ll ever find the words to make you understand how much you mean to me, how grateful I am of still having a place in your life. You mean the world to me, and you giving me a second chance was more than I ever thought I would get.” He softly bumped his forehead against Kenma’s, closing his eyes for a second, but when he opened them again he found Kenma was crying.

“Fuck, Kitten, why do I keep making you cry?” He gulped, a finger wiping away a tear from his face, but it did nothing to stop more from following.

Kenma shook his head, lips trembling. “No, Kuro, I just…” He let out a breath and smiled, scooting closer to Kuroo. “I’m just so happy, I’m so happy you’re back,” he sobbed. “I missed you so bad, Kuro, I felt so lost,” his voice broke halfway through his words. “But you came back, even when I didn’t want to talk to you, you kept coming back.”

They both looked ridiculous, crying and smiling at the same time, whispering ‘ _I love you_ ’s against each others lips. They hugged, kissed and touched until they fell asleep hours later, content with the knowledge that everything had been forgiven, both ready to keep moving forwards without looking back at past mistakes.


	9. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Kuroo had to pinpoint the happiest day of his life, it was an easy choice: the day before his 23rd birthday, when Kenma kissed him for the first time and said he loved him back. There were a few contestants, though.
> 
> The day he graduated with honor. The day they signed the lease for their first apartment together. They day Kenma’s mom finally forgave him and gave them her blessing. The last day of their first trip to London. The day his best bro asked him to be his best man. The day he received an award in recognition for his biochemical research. 
> 
> Still, he hoped that what he had planned for this day would top that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to rewrite this at least three times because I couldn’t make up my mind on how to finish this story. Turns out fluff and happy endings aren't easy to write when going through a depressive mood.
> 
> The memory they’re talking about is from chapter 318 from the manga. It’s one of my favs! Let me know if you want to read it without spoilers from the match, I can just point you to the specific pages.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who took the time to read this, and those who left kudos&comments, especially LidiaAly whose comments always made my day! As Bokuto would say, you’re the best!

If Kuroo had to pinpoint the happiest day of his life, it was an easy choice: the day before his 23rd birthday, when Kenma kissed him for the first time and said he loved him back. There were a few contestants, though:

The day he graduated with honors, proving himself that he was capable of achieving his goals, even while going through heartbreak. The four years leading up to that day had been of the toughest of his life, far away from everyone he knew, and out of contact with the most important person for him. He asked himself almost every day if it was worth it, leaving everything behind. While he still wasn’t convinced it was, at least it hadn’t been in vain.

The day they signed the lease for their first apartment together. He and Kenma had been dating for no more than six months when Akaashi announced he was moving in with Bokuto. Kuroo immediately took the chance to suggest his boyfriend they do the same. Living together after only half a year of being in a relationship might be considered too fast, but it had been their original plan five years ago. It made sense. They spent most of their free time with each other, anyway. Kenma had been quick to agree, under the condition they chose a place with an extra room, so he could use it as his office. Kuroo was happy to concede. Honestly, though, he would have said yes to anything Kenma demanded, no questions asked.

They day Kenma’s mom finally forgave him and gave them her blessing. While they didn’t depend on anyone’s permission to be together, the woman’s resentment towards Kuroo was a shadow that still bothered him. It took her almost two years into their relationship, but eventually she regained her confidence in him, as she told him after a three hour long conversation late one night, full of tears and memories of the boys’ childhood.

The last day of their first trip to London. The day his best bro asked him to be his best _man_. The day he received an award in recognition for his biochemical research. He realized he’d had a lot of best days. But nothing could beat the first kiss. It might not have been the romantic love confession Kuroo had always dreamt of, but it was a kiss. Under the rain. With Kenma. And it even included a sort of ‘you’re the only one’ confession. It had to fill at least a few items on a romantic checklist.

Still, he hoped that what he had planned for this day would top that.

 

Kenma had been working almost non stop for the past month, getting all the last details ready for the launch of his company’s first video game. It was a small studio, only a few devs, and after two and a half years of development Kenma’s excitement to see the project complete was contagious. Kuroo was so proud of his hard work that he didn’t even mind the fact that all they did for their fourth anniversary -and his birthday the day after- was a quick dinner at home while Kenma reviewed the list of bugs waiting to be fixed before release. Kenma promised multiple times that he would make it up to him soon. The game was supposed to go out the next week and they were ahead of schedule, but Kuroo was actually glad for the distraction because it gave him enough time and space to finish his own preparations. Kenma was too observant and would have possibly ruined the surprise if he hadn’t been so busy.

It was a Saturday afternoon when an exhausted Kenma stumbled into their shared apartment. He quickly took off his shoes on the genkan, making his way to the living room. He made a beeline for the couch near the entrance, face planting on the pillows. He didn’t even bother to turn on the giant TV standing on the opposite wall, surrounded by both new and retro consoles. At least he didn’t have to dodge video games boxes scattered on the floor like usual, since he hadn’t had much time for gaming lately and Kuroo had made sure to keep everything organized. Kenma yawned, and both Kuroo and Zelda peeked from the kitchen at the sound.

“Welcome home, Kitten,” Kuroo greeted, rushing to his side. “I take it the launch went well if you’re here before sunset.” He wiped his hands on the apron hanging from his neck, and knelt to kiss the top of his boyfriend’s head, who hadn’t moved yet.

“Hmm,” Kenma hummed, rolling onto his side to face Kuroo. “There’s nothing on fire, at least. Keiji’s staying with Tsutomu at the studio just in case the servers collapse,” he replied, absently scratching Zelda’s head in response to the cat nuzzling against his hand. “I promised I’d be here early, didn’t I? Let me take a shower and I’ll be ready to go out,” he said and tilted his chin up, stretching his neck.

Kuro didn’t need instructions to know what he was asking for. He bent down to kiss him, and melted when he felt Kenma smiling against his lips. It didn’t matter how many times they had kissed in the past four years, it still made his heart flutter. “There’s been a change of plans! I’m making us dinner so we can relax at home,” he announced.

“Are you sure?” Kenma asked, lifting his upper body from the couch, using his elbows as support. “Didn’t you want to go to that fancy Italian restaurant for our anniversary?” He insisted, failing to hide the relief on his face.

“We can go some other day, I figured you’d rather stay in tonight after so much crunch time,” he said, keeping for himself the main reason for his change of heart. He didn’t want to embarrass himself in public, or pressure Kenma into anything. “Food will be ready in two hours, I’ll run you a bath and then you can take a short nap, what do you think?” He asked, checking the cat clock hanging on the wall. He really needed him to not be in their living room for a couple hours.

“I can help you cook…” Kenma offered, but trailed off at the badly hidden panic on his boyfriend’s face. “Why are you being so weird?” He frowned.

“I’m not being weird,” Kuro denied, voice going an octave higher. Why did he ever think he could hide anything from him?

Kenma raised an eyebrow at him, silently trying to read his face, and sighed. “I’ll just take a shower and go to bed, then. Wake me up when you’re done with... whatever you’re doing.” He got up and made a gesture with his hand, as if pushing something away. “Come on, Zelda,” he called, and was about to pick her up when Kuroo rushed to stop him.

“Ah, sorry Kitten. I’m gonna, uhm, need her in a bit,” he said, hoping he wouldn’t have to explain.

“You’re gonna need the cat,” Kenma echoed, face blank.

“Yep,” he confirmed, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Kenma stared at him for a minute. “Whatever,” he eventually shrugged and left for the bathroom.

It wasn’t until he was sure Kenma was asleep, curled under a mountain of blankets on their bed, that Kuroo started working on his preparations. By the time Kenma emerged from their bedroom two hours later, the living room was only alight by two candles, dinner already served on their coffee table. “Smells good,” he announced his arrival, getting comfortable on the couch and eyeing the food. “Should I be worried about a choking hazard eating this?” Kenma deadpanned, pointing at his plate.

Kuroo laughed nervously and thanked the gods he had decided to hide his surprise somewhere else.

✧

Dinner was comfortable besides his nerves. They chatted about the first user reactions that had been posted about Kenma’s game and their upcoming trip to the US, where Kenma was supposed to promote it in a series of conventions across the country. He was not looking forward to that, but Kuroo was sure he would do a great job. While he wasn’t the most comfortable when speaking to others, he was passionate about the work his studio did, and almost turned into a completely different person when talking about it.

Kuroo almost forgot about his apprehension. But then the pasta was gone, the homemade apple pie Suga taught him how to bake was gone, and his confidence was gone. All that was left was his self doubt. The rational part of his brain was certain he had nothing to fear, Kenma loved him as much as he did, and he always included him on his plans for the far future. They had gone through enough shit together to know they were made for each other. There was another voice, though, usually easy to ignore, that screamed Kenma was still with him only out of habit.

“Kuro,” Kenma poked his ribs, jolting him out of his thoughts. “Stop overthinking, you’re gonna hurt your brain.”

“Right, uhm,” he cleared his throat, trying to find the words. He had rehearsed his whole speech more times than he would care to admit, but his mind was suddenly blank. “I, uh, made something for you. Well, for us, but… yeah,” he trailed off, scratching the side of his forehead.

Kenma looked at him, expectantly. “Tetsurou,” he called again, when a minute passed and Kuroo hadn’t moved yet. “Are you going to give it to me or do I have to guess what it is?” He asked, glancing over the table in search of whatever Kuroo was talking about. He seemed nervous, though. Why was he nervous? Had Kenma guessed what he was trying to do? Was Kuroo making a mistake, thinking he’d be happy about it?

Kuroo counted to ten in his mind, in an attempt to calm himself. He reached to grab something from below the couch, where he had hidden a rectangular shaped object wrapped in black fabric. He took a deep breath and offered it to Kenma, who was already waiting, hands extended towards him.

Kenma visibly relaxed at the sight of the item. Kuroo considered taking it back and throwing it through the window, but it was too late. Kenma had already unwrapped it, his fingers softly brushing over the cover of a photo album. There were two cats embedded into the dark leather, curled against each other. He lifted up his eyes to meet Kuroo’s, as if asking for permission, and turned over to the first page when Kuroo nodded. A soft smile tugged at Kenma’s lips. There was the first picture they ever got together. Kenma’s dad had taken it when they were kids, both dirty after Kuroo had dragged him to practice volleyball all day. Kuroo was grinning at the camera, showing all of his teeth, and Kenma looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there.

Kuroo felt more at ease and smiled fondly at the memory. “Sometimes I still wonder how I managed to get you into volleyball when all you wanted was to play video games,” he spoke, voice low.

“You kept dragging me to the riverbank almost every day,” Kenma recalled. “I remember asking myself what kind of weirdo puts ‘it’s nothing but’ in the same sentence as something as terrifying as ‘internal bleeding’,” he laughed. “That’s when I realized how much I wanted to be your friend, in spite of my initial reluctance,” he confessed, moving on the couch to sit closer to his boyfriend.

“I’m glad you did. I don’t think I would have ever found the courage to enter that gym if you weren’t by my side,” Kuroo admitted, flinging an arm around Kenma’s shoulders.

Kenma hummed. “Even after you made friends at school and joined the team, you just kept coming over until you convinced me to do the same. You even lied to me, saying I wouldn’t have to move much,” he scoffed, remembering how betrayed he had felt when he realized he would have to run.

“But I knew you wanted to… I wouldn’t have invited you if I thought otherwise,” Kuroo assured him.

“I know,” Kenma nodded. “You never really forced me to do anything, following you was just natural,” he said matter of factly and moved to the next page.

More pictures from their childhood together followed, each one of them bringing back memories. Kuroo didn’t even realize the tension had left his body, comfortably talking about their past, until Kenma reached the last picture they had taken together at the cat café, before Kuroo left. They both gulped, and Kenma slowly turned the page, as if scared of what would come next.

The next few sheets had mixed pictures of the following four years. Kuroo in random places in London, his University, his old lab, his graduation. Kenma’s selfies and group photos that Kuroo had saved from social media over the years of separation, others provided by Hinata and Akaashi. He had considered not putting anything from those years, but they had moved past the bad memories already, and even if they hadn’t, it was still an important part of their life. Seeing Kenma’s smile hadn’t left his face, Kuroo knew he had made the right choice.

They soon reached the more recent pictures, starting with one of his favorites: the one Akaashi secretly took at the airport, when Kenma hugged him after he came back from his second trip to London. Some of Kuroo's birthday after that, from their first official date, from the day they painted their new apartment. Others surrounded by their friends, others just the two of them and their cat.

Kenma reached the last filled page, followed by nothing but blank space, and Kuroo felt his heart beating faster than ever. He knew it was overdone and cheesy as fuck, but he also knew Kenma secretly liked it when he was a sap, as much as he complained.

"I guess we'll have to make tons of new memories to fill the rest of the pages," Kenma took him out of his reverie, lovingly smiling at him when their eyes met.

"Actually…” Kuroo swallowed, his heart rate increasing again. “I have one more picture to add," he somehow found the valor to say, carefully taking something from his pocket with his free arm. "If you like it, that is," he added, biting his lower lip.

Kenma's shoulders went stiff and he slowly reached out to take it. Kuroo gave him the Polaroid he was holding. It was a picture of Zelda, napping over an old Nekoma jacket. It was nothing out of the ordinary, they had a lot of pictures of their cat sleeping. But there was something new on her collar. A ring, black with golden trims.

Kenma was stunned into silence. He stared at the picture for what felt like an eternity and Kuroo was about to pass out from holding his breath. “Kitten?” He tried getting his attention. Kenma looked up at him for a second before focusing on the picture again.

“Do you have any tape?” He asked, glancing at the table just in case Kuroo had already prepared some. He hadn’t.

“What?” Kuroo knitted his brows, confused. He had a mental list of things Kenma might say at seeing the ring, but that wasn’t part of it. Was he awkwardly attempting to change the subject?

“Tape,” he repeated. “To put it on the album?” he asked, tilting his head like Kuroo was dumb for not understanding what he meant.

“Oh,” Kuroo felt his soul return to his body. “Wait, won’t you at least listen to my speech first?” He left his arm fall and scooted backwards, to get a better look of his boyfriend.

“Yes,” Kenma said, moving too to face him.

“Yes… what? Yes, you’ll listen to my speech? Yes, you’ll…” he left the question in the air, hoping he understood, and hoping he didn’t. He really wanted to actually ask it, but Kenma’s reaction had thrown him for a loop.

“Yes,” Kenma smirked, mocking him. How could he be so exasperating at a moment like this, when Kuroo was scared to death of what he might answer?

“You little shit,” Kuroo scoffed and leaned forward to kiss the smug expression off his face.

“Hm, so romantic,” Kenma teased between kisses, arms looping around his boyfriend’s neck.

“I hate you so much,” he grunted, pushing Kenma until he was lying on his back, Kuroo hovering over him.

“No, you don’t,” Kenma retorted, pulling him closer.

“I guess I don’t,” Kuroo pretended to think about it, a crooked grin on his face. “Actually,” he started, pressing a kiss on Kenma’s forehead. “I love you so much,” a kiss over his left eye. “You’ve always been there, pushing me to do better, even when you weren’t physically there,” a kiss over his right eye. “I can’t imagine a future without you in it,” a kiss on the tip of his nose. “I don’t _want_ to imagine a future without you in it,” he corrected himself, now kissing right under Kenma’s ear. “I don’t even _know_ when I fell in love with you… Maybe I’ve just always loved you, even before I met you,” He lifted himself up, just enough to appreciate the blushing mess he had made of his boyfriend, on the verge of tears under him. “Would you marry me?” He asked, almost breathlessly.

“Wait, hold that thought,” Kenma asked. “Let me get up,” he pressed his palms against Kuroo’s shoulders, pushing him away and placing the album on the table.

“What’s wrong?” He worried, getting off him. Why was he leaving right after Kuroo finally found the courage to propose, without even giving him an answer?

“Nothing’s wrong, Kuro,” he assured him. Too bad it didn’t sound so convincing to Kuroo’s ears. “I’ll be right back,” Kenma almost ran to his office. Kuroo could hear him shuffling what sounded like the contents of his desk drawer. Not two minutes later he was back, a hand in his pocket, the other carrying his Polaroid camera.

“I don’t know if I can top your cheesiness,” he started before the other could protest for the interruption, sitting back on the couch after leaving the camera on the table. “What I do know is that if it wasn’t for your support and encouragement I would still be hiding from customers and selling games at Arcadia. Now I’m _making_ them,” he continued. “You’re the one that’s always been helping me become the best version of myself, and I love you for that.” He unpocketed whatever he was hiding, and licked his lips before offering it to him. It was a small, square black box. Kuroo’s heart skipped a beat or five.

“Where’s Zelda?” Kuroo asked, glancing around the room.

“I don’t know, you’re the one who kidnapped her,” Kenma shrugged, his turn to be disconcerted by the change of direction in the conversation.

“Zelda? Kitty girl?” He called, being completely ignored, as usual. “Goddammit Kenma, your cat is even lazier than you,” he protested.

Kenma huffed and stretched his leg without getting off the couch, enough to kick the cat’s plate and causing its contents to rattle. Zelda was soon running towards them, attracted by the possibility of food. Kuroo carefully grabbed her before she could realize she was being tricked, and took the ring from her collar.

When he looked back at Kenma, he was still holding the tiny box. They stared at each other, nervous wrecks as if the fact that they both had gotten each other a ring didn’t mean they wanted the exact same thing. They laughed, nerves leaving place to anticipation.

"You haven't answered my question yet," Kuroo observed, playing with the object in his hands.

"No," Kenma replied, throwing a quick glimpse at the ring Kuroo was holding and back at his face.

"No?" Panic took over Kuroo’s voice. He swallowed, his chest tightening. How many emotions had he gone through in the last hour? He was going to lose his mind soon at this rate.

"I mean no, I haven't answered, you dork." He flicked at his forehead. "Ask me again," he ordered, sitting straighter and looking up at him.

"It doesn’t have to change anything. And it doesn’t have to be now. It can be ten years from now if that’s what you want. But, Kenma Kozume, you annoying brat,” he said, getting a mocking eyeroll in response. They both knew there was no heat behind his complains. “Would you marry me?"

"Yes," Kenma talked at the same time, not even waiting for the question to be finished. "Would _you_ marry me?" He asked, hands shaking as he opened the little box he was still holding. In there sat another black ring, with a small link chain engraved encircling the middle of the band.

"I kinda have to marry you so you can marry me," Kuroo snorted and Kenma rolled his eyes again, pretending to try and get off the couch, but his boyfriend stopped him before he could get away, looping an arm around his waist.

"Shut up before you make me change my mind." He muttered an empty threat, climbing over Kuroo’s lap to straddle his thighs and hugging his neck with his free arm. He leaned back, settling his weight on Kuroo’s knees.

“May I?” Kuroo asked, grabbing Kenma’s left hand with his, thumb softly brushing over his knuckles. When Kenma nodded, he slowly slipped the ring on his finger, and then placed a loving kiss on top of it.

Kenma mimicked his actions, interlacing their fingers once they were both wearing their engagement rings. He reached for the camera with his free hand, and took a picture of their holding hands. It would be the first record of one of the many new memories they would make together, enough to fill the album and more. If almost 10000 kilometers and 4 years of silence and misunderstandings hadn't succeeded in pulling them apart, then nothing would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the photo album thing has been done a million times but in my head Kuro is the cheesiest dork ever and it just sounded like something he would do.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this lame story! I have more KuroKen in the works, because I love these dumb boys.

**Author's Note:**

> Come cry with me @ [Tumblr](https://allmycharactersaregay.tumblr.com/)


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